“What are you watching Abdul?” my older sister asked menacingly.
“I uh… umm…” She came closer to the computer monitor. I gulped, and switched off the surge plug, risking a loss of computer data rather than embarrassment.
No, clean your dirty mind. It wasn’t porn. I was reading a fantasy Manga—a Japanese comic—on the Internet. I would occasionally bring the volume versions to school, fitted with old book covers so no one could figure out what they were. I also consumed the classics and not-so-classics of fantasy and science fiction literature. When anyone asked what they were about, I would tense up. I was already unathletic and a bit reclusive. I was convinced that becoming a nerd would be the final nail in my social coffin.
The worst part about it all is that I felt any criticisms were justified. I thought that the books I was reading must be stupid. I lamented that I was living in a fantasy world, but I was enjoying it too much to quit. Even though I watched popular culture embrace the geek—the antisocial genius wins in Silicon Valley, the new Peter Parker became a hipster because the previous incarnation was too mainstream—I had already internalized the idea that I was wasting my time.
As high school wore on, I slowly stopped caring what other people thought. I read during lunch and some classes. Senior year, I expected to find a ton of sci-fi and fantasy fans at Duke to affirm that I had been constructive the whole time. The truth is, they do exist here, but a community is not as visible as on other campuses. I shared my hidden vices with a few new like-minded friends and slowly came to realize how influential they were on my intellectual interests. My excursions into religious mythologies were partially an extension of reading Tolkein’s overblown mythos. Rothfuss’ strange societies were based on actual sociology theories. The impossibilities of created languages inspired real linguistics questions. Ursula Le Guin recapped anarchist theory. Robert Jordan’s endless imagined history made me look into actual parallels. And yes, George R. R. Martin taught us all politics.
After a 2 am conversation over laundry on this topic, juniors Kyle Smith, D-Park and I decided to teach a house course on the creation of fictional worlds in science fiction and fantasy. Years of “wasting time” suddenly gave me a resume item, helped me think about a future career that involves teaching, fostered creativity, and most importantly formed a temporary community. I quickly realized that contrary to popular opinion, there is no stereotype about what a genre fan is like. The students were scattered around Duke’s different social scenes and academic tracks, but all shared a common interest in the fictional world I used to be so conflicted about.
Hindsight after the course has convinced me that my bad habit was beneficial to my social interactions all along. My fear of being an outcast made me connect with people who felt that they were left out. Stories where the entire world is at stake are great at inspiring sagacious-sounding quotables, and Gollum impersonations are still a useful party trick. And best of all, cheesy hero stories and 2-dimenional character lines about friendship actually made me a better person. E.g. Tolkein writes, ““And Frodo wouldn’t have got far without Sam, would he, dad?’ ”
“Now, Mr. Frodo,” said Sam, “you shouldn’t make fun. I was serious.”
“So was I,” said Frodo, “and so I am.”
The fantasy and science fiction genre and the associated nerd cultures may still raise eye-brows. The genre itself may still have problems, like most other genres—especially orientalist and sexist trends in some works. But overall, even the more niche elements of the genre can have a positive effect on people beyond simple enjoyment. They are not a waste of time. I was wrong to be ashamed of the animes I watched, the books I read or the worlds I imagined. Each contributed something to building character, formulating insights, or just having a good time.
Some quick recommendations—and don’t be weirded out by names. I used to be, and that’s why I didn’t share titles as much as I should have:
-any of the authors I mentioned earlier, especially Rothfuss and Le Guin
-Cowboy Bebop is THE space jazz western.
-"The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" is universally accepted required reading.
-China Miéville redefines radical activism.
-All Brandon Sanderson’s work is safe, clean, perfectly-plotted fun.
-G. Willow Wilson’s "Alif the Unseen" merges jinn, computer science and critiques of dictatorships.
-Full Metal Alchemist asks what life is through action, magic and teenage angst.
-"American Gods", "Canticle for Leibowitz" and "Jonathon Strange & Mr. Norell" will all be assigned in schools someday.
Abdul Latif is a Trinity junior. His column runs every other Friday.
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