The beginning of spring semester is an interesting time of the year—countless tents are pitched in K-ville in anticipation for the UNC game, the lot of once starved freshmen finally have food points again and, last but not least, rush begins.
For you freshmen, you may find your dorms rather empty during this time. Outside of classes, rush events for whatever fraternities or selective living groups (SLGs) you are interested in will fill up your nights and any girl partaking in sorority recruitment will be a rare sight during the first few weekends. Whether you are ready or not, one of the most socially hectic months of the school year is already underway.
Additionally, in the weeks after rush, the new sorority pledges on your floor will start receiving a rather envious amount of what can only be described as goodie baskets on steroids from their Bigs, the amount of Greek-lettered apparel on campus will exponentially increase and everyone who became affiliated will suddenly gain an obscene amount of new Facebook friends. And finally—brace yourselves—an outstanding amount of bid day pictures are coming.
Before coming to Duke, I didn’t have even the slightest idea of what a fraternity or a sorority was. It took me a few months to pick up on what all the Greek symbols represented and grasp what an SLG was. Since then, I have grown to be more knowledgeable about the Greek alphabet than I think I will ever need to be. Many of my friends have joined a diverse range of organizations and, after a thrilling rush process last spring, I also accepted a bid from and have become an active member of an SLG.
To be honest, rush can be frightening. The seemingly endless events may become overwhelming and the dreadful small talk may feel oddly reminiscent of the oh-so-beloved O-week. Yet, though it may be a bit stressful, rush can also be one of the most exciting times of the year.
For me, I met extraordinary individuals who I may never have met otherwise and attended events ranging from a simple Marketplace brunch to jam-packed, wacky-themed roller skating parties to even a deceptively entertaining cloud watching kick-back. I got cut from one group, simply stopped rushing others and, in the end, I was waiting for a bid from and looking to join only one of the many SLGs I began the rush process with. I was nervous but bid or no bid, I would not have had any regrets about rushing.
Throughout last semester, many freshmen asked me about SLG and Greek life on campus. They wanted to know whether they should rush or not, and if so, which ones. Despite being the obviously all-knowing, wise second-year student that I am, I struggled to give them satisfactory replies. Though some may believe otherwise, I don’t think there is a right answer. People rush for all sorts of reasons and, likewise, many choose not to rush for plenty of reasons as well.
However, for those who are rushing Greek life or any SLGs, remember that beyond any organization’s philosophy or trivial stereotype associated with a group, the members who constitute the organization should ultimately be the deciding factors. Aspire to surround yourself with meaningful people—those whose qualities you yearn to adopt, those who inspire and challenge you to become more and those who make you smile and laugh. Get to know members on a more genuine level and move beyond the senseless small talk. They’ll appreciate the honest conversation too, I promise.
Prior to Duke, many of us were valedictorians, team captains, first chair musicians and prom kings and queens. Success was an ever-present aspect of our lives growing up. Consequently, our encounters with rejection may have been rare and therefore, our experiences coping with it were most likely minimal at best. Getting cut during rush or not receiving a bid from a particular group can sting and may even go so far as to crumble one’s sense of worth. However, rush will only be what you allow it to be and it’s foolish to let any organization define your sense of social acceptance or competence at Duke.
I recently asked a freshman friend why she wanted to rush SLGs. She said she wanted “to be a part of something bigger while making Duke seem a little smaller.” For me, my SLG has done that and so much more. Though it is impossible to be best friends with everyone, we are nonetheless close-knit—we study together, party together and cheer on Duke sports together. I love being a member of my SLG and have shared many of my favorite college experiences with them. Whether you rush or not, I hope you discover a stimulating community of individuals with whom you can grow and feel at home with amidst the vast chaos that college can sometimes become.
Most importantly, remember that any affiliation is just one of the many facets of your Duke experience. Do not lose sight of the amazing relationships you developed in the fall and by no means, allow rush to cripple old friendships and hinder you from new ones.
Oh, and welcome back to school.
Brandon Choi is a Trinity sophomore. This is his first column of the semester.
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