Hey there, kiddo.
You’re in high school now. It’s a pivotal time in your life. Some say it’s the best time of your life. So as an older and wiser version of you, I’m here to offer you a little advice. Cuz, babe, you’re doing it wrong.
Stop being so involved:
What are these things you’re involved in? I’m asking you because I don’t think you know. Your compulsion for volunteerism is daunting. You’re a hobby-munching monster and you need to be stopped. Tell me, are you really doing your best in all of these organizations?
I know what this is about. It’s because you don’t feel important if you’re not busy. It’s because you feel valuable when you say you’re president of three things. Well what are you actually putting into those things and what are you actually getting out of them? I want you to spend less time volunteering and more time learning. Choose a few things that you’re passionate about and immerse yourself in them. And don’t just be there, be present.
Don’t self-segregate:
What is it that keeps you from sitting with that group of people over there? Is it because they’re the band geeks or the theater clique or the popular kids? So what? Let me tell you something. The real world doesn’t operate that way. You won’t walk around the streets of your future city looking for reasons not to talk to people. You won’t be reading the letters on someone’s shirt that spell out a label—that conjure up stereotypes and prevent interaction. The labels created here are meant to form affiliations, not inhibit them. So break through that preconceived notion and make a friend.
Don’t hate love:
Boy do you hate happy couples. You hate happy couples more than you hate pop music. You just have this major aversion to things that induce silliness. Why can’t you just appreciate the fact that someone can bop around to Britney Spears and someone can hold hands in the hallway because it simply feels good. That escapism feels good. Mindless entertainment and mindless romance are hallmarks of high school. You don’t need to lose respect for someone just because they participate in that. But for some reason you’re afraid of those things and what they do to people.
Every human on this planet is driven by the same two things: love and fear. Love propels you forward and fear propels you back. So when you’re judging love or scoffing at love or vehemently refusing to fall in love, you’re really just expressing fear. You fear the unknown and you love what you trust. So just drop the barriers for once. And sing along to Britney Spears.
Live in the moment:
You always talk about how you can’t wait to get out of here. You find reasons to scoff at your surroundings: the self-entitled cool kids, the monotony of your town, the overbearing administration. Those are just attributes, they’re not influences. They don’t prevent you from doing anything or discovering anything or appreciating anything.
What you need is a fresh perspective and constructive attitude. Look at the things around you through a lens of graciousness. Because in a few years you’ll feel nostalgic about even the negative features of your high school career. So reorient yourself from future-focused to presently appreciative. Take a leaf out of Ferris Bueller’s book and slow down before you miss something.
So there you have it, my darling shadow—some pieces of advice.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand that you’ve been doing some things right. You were unique and quirky and you loved that about yourself. You valued that more than you valued your impressive list of extracurriculars. You also didn’t try to grow up too fast. You cherished innocence and self-respect. You didn’t get caught up in shallow high school values and you never ever went to a G.I. Joes and Army Hoes party.
And most importantly, you had faith. You didn’t get overwhelmed or overdramatic when things didn’t go as planned. You just trusted that things would work out for the best.
So sure, you did some things right. Those things are the foundation for how I live and breathe today. But listen, kiddo, you can always stand for some pieces of advice. Don’t forget these. They might come in handy in later years.
Lindsay Tomson is a Trinity senior. This is her final column and the final installment of the Socialites column for the semester.
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