Just a girl from Jersey

On Feb. 11, 2012, America lost a legend by the name of Whitney Elizabeth Houston. Born in Newark, N.J., Whitney was a trailblazer. Whitney accomplished a myriad of things during her time on earth. She became the first black woman to grace the cover of Seventeen Magazine. She had several hits on the Billboard 200. Whitney was the “it girl,” paving the way for several music giants who followed her.

As a young kid I remember listening to Whitney. From “I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)” to “I Have Nothing,” Whitney was the artist that I always sang to. There was always a Whitney song to relate to moments in my life. When one of her songs came on, I would drop a beat instantly or try to hit the notes with my unpleasant vocal cords. I would sometimes dance in moments of serenity or in the presence of strangers. I felt good and I still do today listening to her music.

I was astonished when I heard the disheartening news about the icon, who went from grace to grass. Yes, Whitney did struggle with drug addiction, but her life was more than that. Being a Hollywood junkie, I kept in touch with all the latest developments on Houston’s premature death. Earlier this week, TMZ reported that Whitney had a premonition about her death. According to the celebrity news website, sources close to Whitney recalled her saying “You know, he’s so cool... I really want to see that Jesus.” They reported that in fact, Whitney was certain about her time coming and was fixated on praising God.

After that development, I began to see this whole concept of death from a different viewpoint. Even though one can never gain anything from death, it’s an inevitable process that has to occur for every human being. It serves as a rite of passage that transitions us from a physical realm to the larger universe. I’m not sure if you’ve done something similar, but I asked myself these questions: God forbid, but what if I die tomorrow? What of if I die prematurely and what if all my ambitions, goals and hopes for the future are just dreams? For the first time ever, I was not afraid of talking about death or raising such questions.

We’ve all lost someone near and dear to our hearts. Sometimes, they’re the individuals we grew up around and sometimes they’re individuals whom we never even met. For some of us, we would not be where we are today without these people; it is all part of the journey of life.

Whitney Houston’s passing made me realize something—we really didn’t know who she was. We knew her societal label, a multi-award winner who broke boundaries in the music industry. This same music legend turned to the devil that is cocaine and fell while the world watched. What astonishes me, however, is the person that Whitney became before she died. She not only felt happier, but she also grew as a person trying to reach out once again to the masses. Either by taking more of an active role in the life of her daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, or by producing gospel songs, she did redeem herself. Even though she was not back on her A-game, smashing music records, she did become the “every woman” she sang about.

Death is never a beautiful thing to those alive. We obviously miss our loved ones, but we have to stay assured that they are in a better place. They’re looking and smiling upon us, but we just cannot see them. For once in my life, I have conquered my biggest fear. Whether I live to be 90 years or old not, it all starts today. It starts with every second and, yes, every second does count in the big picture. We may not have control of everything, but we can always see the positive in the worst situations.

I am no longer going to shed a tear whenever I listen to a Whitney Houston song. I have always been a fan and will continue to be. What I have learned from this woman—who was full of so much vitality—is that I bear the full responsibility for my actions. On the other hand, I do hope to be in a similar state of being as Houston, a place characterized by peace of mind, joy and positivity, because that to me is living a fruitful and self-fulfilling life. But before then, I want to dance with somebody who loves me.