The real victims

This satirical post is meant to express the opinion of a single individual, not The Chronicle as a publication. An opinion piece, this piece should be taken as the voice of the author and not a reflection on any larger group or subset of the campus population.

I am writing this article to inform the Duke student body of who the real victims are in the recent Pi Kappa Phi Pilgrims and Indians party scandal: Pilgrims.

While I am not a Pilgrim myself, I know countless peers who consider themselves Pilgrims and are members of Pilgrims United to Stop Segregation (PUSS). For years, PUSS has tried to dispel offensive stereotypes of pilgrims within the Duke community, but as the recent discourse on campus, these attempts have been futile.

It is impossible for any member of PUSS to walk down the main quad in his buckle shoes and pilgrim hat without getting judgmental looks (for traditional pilgrim garb, click here). This needs to change. This must change.

Duke pilgrims were offended by Pi Kapp before the party even started. In an email invitation sent out by the fraternity, it clearly states, “In 1621 some crazy pilgrims had a pretty brutal harvest. Word on the street was they didn’t have enough food for half the bros in Plymouth.  Then some hot natives came along with some extra food.… On Saturday, the brothers of Pi Kappa Phi will be honoring that party spirit. There will be a cornucopia of treats in our modern-day teepee. Tap into your inner pocahotness, wear a few feathers and party like you don’t care if you survive the winter.”

This quote is offensive to pilgrims on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start. First, pilgrims are neither “crazy” nor “bros.” Second and perhaps most egregious is Pi Kapp’s claim that the harvest of 1621 was “brutal.” As PUSS will proudly tell you, the harvest of 1621 was spectacular—in fact, Thanksgiving was a celebration of a successful harvest.

It is also very offensive how the email invitation seems to suggest that all pilgrims are male. While female pilgrims may not have the “pocahotness” of the “hot natives,” they still look good in their sexy bonnets.

It strikes me how nonchalantly a group of Duke students could be so anti-pilgrim. This anti-pilgrim sentiment around Duke needs to stop. I stand behind PUSS because no one understands PUSS as well as I do.