What's your struggle?

When was the last time you struggled? Was it a personal, academic or an external struggle? How often do you struggle and how do you emerge from a situation that can either make or break you? So far as a sophomore, I have a different viewpoint on the struggles that I have faced as an individual. Just like a lot of college students, I tend to struggle with my personal and academic identity. I always turn it around for my own good, however.

Freshman year was a gruesome year. I felt as if I was going through the pits of hell academically and socially. I came in to Duke with the intent of being pre-med—that didn’t go so well. In the midst of the hustle of it all, I realized that my true calling was not in being a doctor. I began to realize my passion for issues relating to law and social entrepreneurship.

This leads me to struggle number two. This is a gray area, and most people don’t usually tend to talk about. I have also struggled with my sexuality. There comes a point in your life when you have to be aware of your interests. For a long period of time, I switched back and forth on my preferences thinking that I was straight, gay or even, to a point, asexual. I realized I was straight only when I took the high road and decided to be a little promiscuous.

I also struggle when I think about my life after Duke. You might be like me, uncertain about going straight into the workforce or going to graduate school immediately after college. Maybe you aren’t sure about what you are even going to major in or where your Duke career will lead you. The first couple of weeks in my sophomore year, I had a conversation with myself. I weighed the possibility of “Plan A” not working out and everything going the opposite way. For the first time in my life, I was not worried. Why? There comes a point where I did not get that which I had desired. I did not get that grade or that position I was interested in. But, that was not the end of it. Rather, that should be a stepping stone for us as individuals to reinvent ourselves in the most unique way possible.

There is a famous adage that says, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” When it seems that all hope is lost, we just begin to realize that a new story is just beginning. Life has a way of turning things around, even when we think that our individual stories have ended. We all obviously don’t welcome struggles, but the whole act of struggling is inevitable. Once you are caught up in it, you never know the outcome.

I am glad that I’ve reached a point in my life where I have become accustomed to several aspects of struggling. I don’t enjoy all the stress associated with it, but I do take a lesson or two from it. When I look back at it all, I’m glad that I was able to pass through that burning fire. I may not be victorious all of the time and I may feel like less than who I am, but that does not stop me. It just gives me that extra passion to do something that I’d never have pictured doing. Oddly, it is in a way that kind of fuel that gives me the energy to go.

Maybe we need to revisit the way we view struggles. Everyone struggles and we probably are not the first person to be going through that challenge or conflict. Somewhere out there someone has faced something quite similar, but we just might never know or hear his or her story.

Oprah Winfrey once said “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” With a strong sense of self, faith and perseverance, realistic goals or dreams are unstoppable. We find the strength that we need to keep achieving in so many ways beyond our wildest dreams. Struggles should refine us and make us stronger and wiser. I believe that those who stand the test of time are those who can take the heat at any time.