Liquid drugs

Last week, I did not have a blog post. I was extremely sad to disappoint my poor reader (thanks, Mom!), but I was too sick to make it to class, much less be funny.

To get back in the swing of things, I needed a little help from an old friend. This substance is very addictive and is only made correctly in certain parts of the United States (though to be fair, I have never tried it in a European country). Its availability almost everywhere on campus just helps fuel my addiction and when I don’t get it the gods above cry tears of pain.

What is it that gives me such a good high that I chose to be a political science major? SWEET TEA.

Some of you Southerners may say, “What is ‘sweet tea’? There is only one kind of tea and it is always sweet.” To that I say, "The South will rise again". More to the point, crossing the Mason-Dixon line means that your choice of tea consists of raspberry or Brisk.

Going to a New York restaurant and asking for sweet tea is like going to Mensa convention and asking for a Carolina graduate: People give you strange looks and ask you to leave. We may never know why sweet tea is so wonderfully delicious in the South and nonexistent everywhere else, but this exclusivity makes it taste even better.

Each sip is something to be savored and even worshipped. If sweet tea were a person, it would be a civilian who is given the Medal of Honor. Perhaps an illustration of exactly how much I like sweet tea would move this story along a little better.

At the end of the fall semester, my friends and I decided to take over a study room in Bostock (like our page—Bostock 412) to fully immerse ourselves in the experience that is finals week. We worked, we slept, we ate, and we even danced in this room for an entire week of our lives. Within the first two days of our experiment, I had consumed an entire gallon of sweet tea. Thankfully, I did not continue this habit throughout the week, but during those two days I heard an angel laugh and the music of heaven. OK, maybe I didn’t hear the music of heaven but it was still a pretty great experience. When I sip sweet tea from Alpine Bagels or Armadillo Grill, I thank my lucky starts that I go to Duke University. Even national championships (in two sports!) comes second to sweet tea in my book. And you can quote me on that.

Ariel Smallwood is a Trinity sophomore. Her online column runs every Tuesday.