ET phones home

Parents weekend has come and gone with a bang, in case you didn’t know. The activities were plentiful, from concerts in Von der Heyden to football tournaments on the quad, but the focus was on seeing our parents one more time before Thanksgiving. For many, it gives a chance to meet the parents of our friends and gives rise to the question “How in the world are you two related?” My friends and I had fun eating dinner with my family because we didn’t wake up at 4 a.m. (ahem, stay up until 4 a.m.) to wait in line for tickets to the basketball game.

It was nice of my mom to visit me at this “home” I’ve created at Duke with my “family.” Much as she is a guest when she comes to Durham, I feel the same when I go back to my home in Charlotte. My mom is nice enough to do my laundry, my family takes me out to eat and my friends clear their schedules when they hear that I’ll be home for 30 hours. Even my dog gets in on the fun, thinking I’m the best thing since sliced bread falling on the floor (I think dogs are attracted to the sound of things falling on the floor, not so much the actual item. I could probably throw Marketplace food on the floor and she would run and try to eat it.). But how many of us feel legitimately normal when we go home?

Over fall break, I noticed a tree was missing in our yard when I mowed the lawn. Upon inquiring an inquiry to the maternal unit, I was surprised to hear that it had been taken out over three years ago. Am I that oblivious, or is that just simply a byproduct of living in the gothic paradise, where some idiot can run a truck into one of the bus stop trees and nobody notices because it gets covered up so quickly? (This actually happened. Go look at the trees between Allen and Few. There is a gap.) How are we able to prevent this lack of perception? We could stay at home more during the summers, friend our parents on Facebook or send them cute little “<3 U :)” texts, but that seems impractical when trying to keep up your financial and social standing. Perhaps you can try to integrate your parents into this situation; for example, writing a letter to your parents. Letters beginning with “Dear Dad, you can pay my cell phone bill” and others with similar structure help me financially and socially, killing two birds with one stone. Though you must keep in mind, every time that your parents do something for you, you must do something for them, a fixture of parental interaction originally called Newton’s Third Law.

One way to feel less alienated at home is to make them feel more welcome when they see you. I’m not expecting you to be Mother Theresa to your parents (as that would be inherently backwards), but do something at least slightly nice for them. Maybe just ONCE pay for your parents’ dinner, call them on the way to work or make them feel welcome at your parties (for example, explaining to them the college-only tradition of honoring fives when they want to sit next to you). Keep these ideas in mind for next year’s Parents’ Weekend and tell me how they go over. Your parents will probably get freaked out and say something really old-people-like, such as “When I was your age we snuck kegs into the football game by dressing it up as a ghost and drank with my parents.” Pretty sure that won’t fly this year. Just roll with them; they’re just trying to inform you of the best way to live your life as they’ve had more experience than you (they aren’t 50, just 21 with 29 years of experience). After all, they did bring you into this world and because of that, they (allegedly) know how to take you out of it.

Jeremy Steinman is a Trinity senior. His column runs every other Thursday.