Although all of us may believe we’re pursuing particular members of the opposite sex during our weekend exploits, the reality is we’re merely chasing orgasms.
The hook-up culture—though a loathsome term that unsystematically generalizes an entire sexual dogma—is nothing if not a doctrine defined by the precedence of carnal pleasure over romantic and emotional connection.
Consequently, the orgasm, representing pleasure at its most satisfying level, is essentially the ends for all our flirtatious means. Every padded bra, every drop of cologne—all are pawns in the cunning strategy of coming.
Surely critics will suggest the goals of hooking up are complicated by personal insecurity, the desire for a significant other and other objectives you should probably talk over with your therapist. But when we control for these factors in situations of meaningless sex, the orgasm is the ultimate bait.
That said, predators in the collegiate jungle may argue the orgasm has become elusive prey. Globally, 48 percent of sexually active individuals regularly achieve orgasm through sex. The number is brought down by the 32 percent of women who enjoy consistent orgasms, but only a small majority of men—64 percent—habitually end on a climactic note. Although this survey is not limited to collegiate men in their prime, you’d think the older male population would be able to rub one out during one of those four-hour Cialis-induced boners.
Moreover, consider the so-called “whiskey-dick” phenomenon. In the cruelest irony, booze grants a man the right to use a hard-on while simultaneously reducing his chances of having one. If the inebriated individual is lucky enough to get some wind in his sails, odds are still low he’ll ever make it into port. Many long minutes of exasperating thrusting ultimately conclude with an uncomfortable sigh and a sheepish, “I don’t think it’s going to happen tonight.”
From the female perspective, this syndrome is rather unhealthy for the ego. Accepting alcoholic handicaps is a large pill to swallow. Considering the limited number of female responsibilities in sexual activity, failure is significantly more bruising.
Given the relative elusiveness of the female orgasm, feigning the conclusion can often be tempting. Sobriety or boredom may kick in, but no one wants to end the evening with hurt feelings.
Although most men find “faking it” hurtful in its fraudulence, make-believe orgasms could be prevented if people were more appreciative of the vast differences in male and female orgasm experiences. People have no sense of how their orgasm compares to the orgasm of the opposite sex. I’ve participated in debates that try to resolve the question, “Is it better to have smaller orgasms all the time (like men) or huge orgasms on occasion (like women)?” No matter the answer, people need to stop peer-pressuring the female orgasm out of hiding.
So let’s be honest here. Tonight you want to head out to a bar, put back a few drinks, find a decent-looking girl or guy and come. It’s both logical and biological. Don’t hate on Darwinism. Enjoy your evening and keep a box of tissues on the nightstand.
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