This Ain't Must-See TV

In a mostly unsurprising bit of news, that TV show about the garden state reminding everyone MTV still exists is being turned into a porn flick. Some further research on the topic reveals that Jersey Shore is not alone.

Hustler Video (the folks behind Nailin’ Palin) is, in fact, responsible for a full series of TV show-cum-porno parodies. Titles include This Ain’t Happy Days, This Ain’t Saved by the Bell and the forthcoming This Ain’t Glee (a clear example of brand commitment gone awry). Naturally, we had our own ideas at recess:

This Ain’t The Wire: If watching the sort-of abject looking Bubbles wasn’t enough to turn America’s HBO-subscribing, David Simon-loving youth away from heroin, one glimpse of the grittiest, porn flick ever will.

This Ain’t The NCAA: The Cameron Crazie version: not that different from the forthcoming Avatar XXX.

This Ain’t CSPAN: In which Hustler starts a gay division to accommodate the transgressions of Larry Craig. Thankfully for Hustler’s legal division, Mark Foley is out of office.

This Ain’t America’s Next Top Model: Tyra BanXXX is waiting by her phone.

This Ain’t Extreme Makeover: To each, his or her own fetish.

This Ain’t Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Proving to Twilight fans once and for all, Joss > Stephanie.

This Ain’t the West Wing: I’m guessing Clinton/Lewinsky porn probably exploded and came down from its climax years ago (ed. note: entendre just happens. I’m not that clever). But just like cassette tapes and Ellen DeGeneres, America’s ready for it again.

This Ain’t Big Love: They say large casts  are expensive, but expect a top-seller.

Jersey Shore XXX will be released in February 2010. Here’s hoping the Linda Williams essay follows shortly thereafter.

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