Editorial Board Makes Plea To Henderson

This morning, The Chronicle's independent editorial board published its final editorial of Volume 104, and in keeping with tradition, avoided its typical tune of wonkish policy suggestions. Instead, it published a list of satirical reasons why Gerald Henderson should stay at Duke for his senior season.

Some of my favorites:

  • G should want to be around when Duke gets more global.
  • G, didn't anyone tell you that the whole purpose of senior year is to sit around complaining about how you don't have a job? You can't ruin both parts of that experience!
  • Has G finished all his modes of inquiry?
  • G should go to MYRTLE!! one last time.
  • G should take advantage of the free New York Review of Books issues in the Gothic for one more year.
  • G shouldn't consider going to a part of the world where you don't have to wait 20 minutes for your Subway sandwich.
  • G, did you know that there are 1,290 calories in a normal Panda Express meal?
  • G should vow to stay at Duke until the Judicial Affairs Task Force is reinstated.
  • G should get a chance to go to Beer Trucks.

Why else should Henderson stay in Durham for another year? Get as creative as you like, and drop your suggestions below in the comments section, and watch out for a collection of our favorite in the coming days.


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