You know those songs that you love, but are slightly embarrassed by how absurd and obnoxious they are? The tracks that have a catchy tune, but whose lyrics make you vomit a little in your mouth? Of course you do.
More than just guilty pleasures, these works of art are hypnotic tunes you start humming to without realizing you're doing it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have boldly compiled a list of such songs. I present to you the D-Bag Playlistr.
1. "Sunglasses at Night," Cory Hart: What's more of a d-bag move than throwing on your shades when this song comes on? Plus, it was the background music for YouTube sensation "My New Haircut."
2. "(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight," Cutting Crew: A classic featuring the synth beats from the ultimate era of douchebaggery-the '80s
3. "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car," Billy Ocean: If the title didn't say enough, the lines "I'll be the sun/Shining on you/Hey Cinderella/Step in your shoe" should convince you.
4. "Hip to be Square," Huey Lewis and the News: A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself!
5. Anything by Phil Collins.
6. Alright, anything referenced in American Psycho.
7. "Every Morning," Sugar Ray: Really, Mark McGrath? Every morning there's a halo hanging from the corner of your girlfriend's four-post bed? No wonder you now host Extra.
8. "Desert Rose," Sting: Police or no Police, Sting's attempt at "worldly" music is Grade A a-hole.
9. "Thong Song," Sisqo: Extra points for the white jumpsuit and spray-on silver hair.
10. Anything by Smash Mouth. Seriously.
11. "I Get Money," 50 Cent: With lyrics such as "I'm stanky rich" and "I run New York," someone clearly hasn't told Fiddy he needs to stop recycling his old songs and start making good music again.
12. "My Dick," Mickey Avalon: Aka "Mr. Right." Aka "the best piece of ass in the whole damn city." Aka the King of D-bagginess.
Warning: Overexposure to these tracks will result in increased wearing of jorts, donning of Wayfarers and desire for wavy hair.
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