We can't all be 2-9

After playing in the shadow of "Touchdown Jesus" in Notre Dame Stadium in South Bend, Ind., the Fighting Irish may very well find themselves in need of a Christ-like miracle to resurrect their fallen football program. In an ironic turn of events, the Devils could defeat God's representatives on earth: the Notre Dame football team.

The fantastically terrible 2007 Fighting Irish scheduled Duke almost certainly with the intention of getting an easy win in their second to last game of the season. They thought that because they are the legendary Fighting Irish and we were the lowly Blue Devils, it would be a guaranteed win. False. It is not that Duke has had a good season (or decade) in any way shape or form, but there is a real chance that the Blue Devils will embarrass Notre Dame tomorrow.

If Thaddeus Lewis puts up enough points to make famed Notre Dame coach Knute Rockne roll over in his grave, the 2007 Fighting Irish will solidify their place as the worst team in Notre Dame history. This is the program with the second-highest winning percentage in Division I-A history and 11 consensus national championships. If, or when, they lose to a one-win team that ended a 22-game losing streak earlier this year, I, a lifelong Michigan fan/Notre Dame hater will pass out because of a dangerous overdose on schadenfreude. What a spectacular fall from grace it will be if the Fighting Irish get knocked out.

In my giddy anticipation, I have noticed troubling similarities between the hubris of the Fighting Irish and that of the Duke student body, myself included. Recently a friend of mine, upon returning from a Network for Future Executives meeting, began discussing his plans after college. He outlined all of his champagne wishes and caviar dreams that will, of course, come true because he is, after all, a Future Executive.

After speaking with him, I was struck by the familiarity of the "when I am rich/successful" assumption that my Future Executive friend and the rest of the student body holds. After all, we are at Duke. It should be smooth sailing from here, right?

Well, there is good news and bad news. Good news: we definitely did something right by getting into Duke, whether it was working hard in high school or being born into a family that could afford to donate a building. Generally speaking, we have something of value to offer the world and we are not over-confident in expecting success in whatever way we choose to define it.

Bad news: as the Fighting Irish may be reminded of tomorrow, there are no guarantees in life. Odds are that we will not end up as impoverished failures, but the truth is that we cannot all be future executives. Some of us are undoubtedly Future Middle Management. I like to envision myself as a successful lawyer, but I have to accept the possibility that I could end up as a chain-smoking, 50-year-old unpublished novelist with a penchant for boxed wine.

I hate to be the eternal pessimist with all this discussion of high hopes and shattered dreams, but if I were not, this column would have been as mundane as a discussion of the merits of the C-4 bus route. If nothing more, we can realize that, as cliche as it sounds, nothing is promised. But don't take my word for it. If Notre Dame loses, stop by Mass on Sunday and breathe in the scent of dejection that fills the air.