Two Saturdays ago, I walked into the Blue Zone at 9:45 a.m. expecting to be on the early side for my favorite Duke tradition.
Actually that's a lie. I started out crutching, due to an unfortunate shredding of my ACL, and then convinced a Duke cop in a golf cart to give me a ride the rest of the way to the lot. Frankly, I didn't know what to expect. I had heard Tailgate had come back with a vengeance last year after the purported "end" to the tradition in the wake of the lacrosse scandal, but I guess I had to see it alive for myself before I could believe it.
Maybe study abroad and the passage of time had clouded my memory of this holy event that is undoubtedly the pinnacle of fun at Duke University, but I thought this year's first Tailgate was absolutely on par. What I encountered early that morning was an enormous mass of students reveling in traditional Tailgate fashion: in costume, dancing and fully inebriated.
The day was a complete success. I drank for joy before the game, and if my hazy memory serves me correct even encountered a full-size fire truck, complete with its very own fireman who by the way grills a delicious sirloin burger. Then I ventured into the stadium just in time to catch esteemed Coach Ted Roof's ingenious decision to insert our slower, backup quarterback to run 3 straight impotent QB sweeps. In order to prevent myself from completely losing my buzz-and possibly committing suicide-I left the game for the Belmont pool, where the fun only continued.
I awoke Sunday morning with only one thought; I hope to God nobody did anything to screw this up because it was amazing. That night, I got on my knees and prayed that I would not open up The Chronicle to read about a full-scale brawl or a student blowing lines in front of a cop or really anything except the headline "Tailgate SUCCESS!"
So much for religion.
Monday morning's Chronicle featured several invigorating-and by that I mean completely useless, frivolous and counterproductive-criticisms of Vice President for Student Affairs Larry Moneta's decision to bluff on IDing those suspected of underage drinking.
It truly boggled my mind. The usually fun-hating Moneta decided, for once, to tell a white lie to cover his rear in order to make it publicly appear that he would not support our desire to have Tailgate. In reality, his empty threats allowed the event to go on without more than a minor hiccup. The only thing the man deserved was a sloppy drunken kiss on the lips and a big thank you.
What ensued was an inane and useless debate culminating with a column by Moneta expressing that my beloved Tailgate is now once again in jeopardy. The beast was once again awakened.
In truth, his column raises some valid concerns from the University's perspective that deserve attention. At the same time, assuaging these concerns while maintaining Tailgate as we know it will not take any sort of dramatic "conversation" or major policy changes.
Perhaps with a few small modifications on both ends we can lower the risk of Tailgate to equal that of your run-of-the-mill section party. Those are still acceptable, right?
1) Allow cars and allow them early. With cars comes something that was quietly missing this year-food. Food equals safety, and without cars we can't have grills, without grills there is no food. Cars also help keep the party under control by breaking up the inevitable giant mass of students into smaller more controllable sections.
2) With cars comes the obvious temptation and danger of drunk driving. Therefore, Duke Police should assert its right to breathalyze every car leaving the Blue Zone if need be. There is only one exit, it's not that complicated. Durham taxis will be more than happy to participate.
3) We need to stop acting like idiots. What does that mean? Stop throwing full beer cans, you self-centered, frat-tastic a-holes. It doesn't make you look any sweeter, its dangerous and, most importantly, you are wasting beer. As I faintly recall, running out of beer was an unfortunate issue a few weeks back for some of you.
4) Duke needs to continue to "ID." It's absolutely ridiculous for us to think that they can openly endorse underage drinking. How they wish to interpret or carry out their age verification and identification process is their business. I'm not certain, but I've been here long enough to know Duke has no interest in giving 400 of its newly matriculated freshmen underage citations.
Next time Duke makes an empty threat, shut your mouth and say thank you. It's their University, and as other columnists have shown before, they can and will do whatever they please.
Meanwhile, I'll be praying to any deity that is willing to listen that Duke finds it in its heart not to get rid of my absolute favorite part of the Duke experience.
Dan Belzer is a Trinity senior. His column runs every other Thursday.
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