Acute embarrassment

Although I graduated from Duke in May, I am currently at UNC Law, still living in Durham and still missing the Gothic Wonderland.

This past Saturday night, days after the lacrosse story appeared in newspapers, I was at Charlie's having a drink with my local softball team when about 20 lacrosse players arrived. Some were my close friends at Duke. Some are absolutely amazing athletes that shouldn't be tainted by the unfortunate and extremely sad events of this month. Most should not be guilty by association.

Nevertheless, they ordered round after round of shots, at times slamming the glasses down on tables and cheering "Duke Lacrosse!" At this point, the bar started buzzing. Comments were flying all over from "How does Duke not have these guys under lockdown?" to "Do they realize what unremorseful drunk snobs they look like?" to "I hate Duke students and this is exactly why."

One of the men on my team, a cop, leaned over to me and said, "See A, B and C? They are police officers." Ten minutes later, one of the other guys on my team, a photographer for a Raleigh newspaper, leaned over and said, "See X,Y and Z? They are reporters." The players had no idea who was intensely analyzing them, nor did they really seem to care. While I drank a Corona, watching them get plastered and stumbling, yelling about Duke lacrosse, the rest of the bar looked on with derision and repulsion.

Needless to say, it was hard to stomach how their actions conveyed a sense that the severity of the situation is lost on them. Regardless of guilt, there is a degree of gravity that is not met by simply closing facebook profiles to the public. This is not about hazing or underage drinking or even cheating. And this cannot be contained inside the proverbial Duke bubble or under a blanket of silence. This is real life trouble that has far greater consequences than their demeanor portrayed. Especially because the only person more easily hated than a Duke student is an arrogant and obnoxious Duke student.

I understand that nothing has been proven, but I can't help wondering how they had the audacity to go to such a public place and celebrate after these allegations have blown up nationally and they had to forfeit games as a result. I also understand that this editorial will anger some people. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone for blowing off steam and having fun. Most of these guys have nothing to do with the accusations, nor should they be penalized for what their teammates may or may not have done. Duke lacrosse is something they should otherwise be very proud of, but Saturday reflected badly upon their program and our school.

As a woman, a Duke graduate and a future women's and child advocacy lawyer, I was disappointed and, to be frank, disgusted. What happened during Spring Break doesn't only affect the individuals involved but everything and everyone that they represent. It has already irreversibly damaged the Duke-Durham relationship. It used to be that we worried about serious crime and local neighborhoods simply hated our partying. Now we, too, have become the aggressors. We are warned to be careful when venturing outside that fateful stone wall surrounding East Campus. Now others may need to be careful of us.

I love Duke and hope that the situation is quickly resolved, but until then, it is behavior like this that perpetuates the seemingly negative reputation that Duke sometimes has. Whether there is any truth to the allegations, the nation essentially thinks that these players sexually assaulted a single African-American mother putting herself through college. I'm all for due process. I don't think anyone should be considered guilty until proven so, but I do think that they should act like they are under a microscope, because, to be blunt, they are. We all are. There are enough fingers being pointed right now and maybe that's unfair, but it is reality. Why call more attention to yourselves? Some say that all press is good press, but that does not ring true here, and I hope that the players have the class and decency to act like any other person under the scrutiny that they are under at this moment.