Remembrances

A beautiful life tragically cut short

Jack London once said, "I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather that my spark would burn out in a brilliant blaze than be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet." As my high school yearbook quote, I thought I believed in this sentiment: to live a great life cut short. But as we mourn the loss of a great friend, we have come to recognize our own naivete. Tyler Brown deserved a long, fulfilled life rather than one cut short in the midst of his youth.

It is indescribably difficult to do Tyler justice in a single piece of writing.

Walking into a room you were immediately greeted by his big smile. Tyler's positive energy was infectious for all who knew him. His intelligence, his social conscious and his generosity made Tyler a truly incredible friend and a wonderful member of the Duke community. Although his time with us was short, we know that Tyler would have done great things in life. Duke, as an institution and a community, and our lives are lesser without him.

It is easy to be angry at the tragedy Tyler suffered and saddened by his promise that will go unrealized. However, we choose to celebrate the life he lived, the amazing person we knew and everything he meant to us. So please continue to have Tyler in your thoughts and prayers, as his friends, family and the Duke community remember a truly special person. We all miss you Tyler.

Kim Ocheltree

Trinity '07

Jonathan Wallace

When Tyler, our friends and I spent the majority of the summer together in Durham, I was truly blessed to be given the chance to become very close to him. He is one of the most accepting friends I have ever had. He was a source of support for me when I needed it, and I know he helped others in similar ways. I know that he absolutely loved his family and his closest friends and that they could not help but love him back.

Tyler certainly touched the lives of those he met at Duke, but his kindness and willingness to give did not end here. This summer he was a part of the team of students in Engineers Without Borders who went to Indonesia to help communities that were seriously affected by the Tsunami (learn about his work here: http://ewb.pratt.duke.edu/index.php). It is truly a tragedy that someone so giving had to leave this earth before he even reached the age of 22. I will always be grateful for what Tyler had to offer me personally and the rest of the world during his short but beautiful life.

Elizabeth Shockley

Trinity '06

 

The perfect roommate and a selfless friend

"What can Brown do for you?" I always joked with Tyler about getting him a poster with this slogan on it. UPS unveiled this slogan during our freshman year in 2002. The slogan not only had an obvious connection to Tyler, but the slogan also very simply described Tyler's attitude toward others. During tenting, Tyler would stay out with others on nights that weren't his turn or even after he got his three personal checks because he never wanted anyone to be out there without some friends to talk to. Another time, one of our friends had broken her hand and was in the ER. She knew that Tyler had a rush event to go to, so she said that she would be fine and she told him to just go to the party. Tyler responded that friends are more important and there will always be more parties.

In addition to his caring personality, everyone who met Tyler knows his smile would brighten a room. I always joked with him that he was a "gummer" because he would smile so brightly that his upper gum would show. Tyler's presence always made me feel happier, which was great for keeping my spirits up through the cold, rainy months during freshman year. I was the luckiest person on East Campus. I knew that I had hit the roommate jackpot when I first walked into my dorm room.

Tenting in Krzyzewskiville, late night talks in Blackwell, partying all over campus and dinners at the Marketplace were all more fun because Tyler was around. It is not fair that a great person like Tyler had his life tragically ended. I miss his positive attitude and bright smile. His friends and family, Duke and the world have lost a great man. I know his influence has made the Duke community and the world a better place. Tyler, we will always remember you.

Keith Lam

Trinity '06

 

Bright and forever lasting memories

Although this past week has been extremely challenging and emotionally draining, I can't help but reflect on the entirety of Tyler's life and feel hopeful. I was fortunate to live in Blackwell freshman year with Tyler and his other close friends. We had an amazing dorm-everyone loved to have a great time, be it playing wiffle ball in the "back yard" (complete with chewing tobacco) to listening to the sexual assault benefit concert thrown by Mike Giedgowd's band, "My Strength is Not for Hurting," in the commons room of Randolph. We even took a trip up to Georgetown to watch Duke play basketball. Tyler sat in the back of my car whispering to Pauline, amazed and freaked out as my twin brother and I violently yelled and punched each other throughout the duration of the drive.

Throughout the years we all had incredible times together-be it in our tent in K-ville, playing on our Beirut table that was an exact replica of Cameron Indoor Stadium (complete with all the signatures of the basketball players) or the Last Day of Classes last year when Tyler drank a record-setting high of 37 beers.

After I found out about his senseless death, I felt incredibly angry that this beautiful, intelligent young man was taken from us. His impact on the world was only starting to be felt. My mom always tells me that God does not waste his hurts. It sounds corny, but it is true. He doesn't give us anything we can't handle. That's why he gives us powerful memories (and digital cameras).

As we watched a slideshow at the reception after the funeral, the mood was not of sadness but of enthusiastic remembrance. Friends would narrate the scenes that crossed the screen. Scenic photos from Tyler's travels abroad when he was in London with his friend G sparked comments on how he was better traveled than his parents. Emily Wren, Tyler's close friend and fellow Engineers Without Borders member, would tell us how excited the children in Sumatra were to watch them work on the aerators that they would successfully install. His family members would comment on how much he loved baseball as a photo of Tyler pitching crossed the screen. He loved it so much that he was buried with his baseball glove.

At the funeral service, Tyler's two brothers, father and cousin spoke. His father talked about how on the plane ride home from San Francisco, they were flying through dark clouds. As the plane turned, for a fleeting moment the sun emerged and embraced his face. He said his face was instantly warmed, and as he felt that, he knew it was Tyler. For me, whenever I think about the memories I have with Tyler, it is that same sensation. I see his smile, and instantly I feel warmed.

Erica "Mildred" Stalnecker

Trinity '06

 

Lucky to have known him

Losing a close friend at any age is a life-changing and soul-shattering experience. My college experience was written from freshman orientation with Tyler as my closest friend. If I was Jay for Prez, Ty was the VP. Anyone who met us knew that we stuck together through it all. Tyler was a friend who was compassionate, sincere, forgiving, outgoing and always fun to be around. He preferred to laugh with a roar rather than a chuckle. Tyler had the potential and vision to bring that roar to a part of the world lacking in laughter. His plan to work in Tsunami-ravaged Indonesia would have brought hope for success to a population struggling to return to normalcy. Now I find myself aching for normalcy. Every day without Tyler's belly laugh has brought an awkward sense of distance from what I had previously understood to be my college existence. The death of a college friend has meant losing the person who I shared over three years of incredible laughs and life defining experiences with. Tyler was a gift to this University. He loved being at Duke, and he appreciated where it could lead him to help others. Ty didn't have a ton of friends at school, but to those of us lucky enough to have known him, we were like family. He didn't care about being at the right place or with the right people. As long as his best friends were around, he was in his element. If there is anything positive to be taken away from his tragic death, I will never forget Tyler's loyalty to his friends. To have been an integral part of an unbreakable friendship, throughout what has been the most unfortunate period of my life, the words of Lou Gehrig seem appropriate. I consider myself the luckiest man in the world.

Jason Loughnane

Trinity '06

 

A loved individual who had an impact

Tyler Brown was my cousin eight years my younger. It had been a number of years since I had seen or spoken to him, but it is a beautiful thing to read how many people cared for him. It was truly tragic to hear the news of his death, and I regret not being able to have had the chance to get to know him the way that many of you had.

I remember a young boy who loved to swim and watch baseball. As children we would visit one another just about every summer since our parents are brother and sister, and there were many times Tyler got left behind because he was the youngest. However, when that was the case he always managed to find us.

Death is such a strange part of life, and I have never been able accept the fact that an individual will never be around again. There will always be some sort of sign or scent or laugh or even moment that will take you back to the times spent together. I know his family appreciates reading articles like the one published because we get to see what kind of impact Tyler made on everyone's lives. He will be missed, but I have been able to find something different these past few days to help me remember what kind of person he was.

Mark Calbos

Tyler Brown's cousin