I have seen faces of barely restrained ire, of emphatic and arduous disapproval. I have seen disdain. I have watched the arc of hurled epithets, watched as criticism dribbled from tongues swollen with indignance.
And I have watched my own lips feebly move in defense; I have seen the pale white pallor of my own skin redden in tune with the cheeks of the black crowd around me.
I watched these things not from the comfort of a couch. I was not viewing footage from 1960s Selma, Ala., nor was I watching Remember the Titans for the 183rd time (GO TC!).
No. This heated discourse played out live and in person at the Black Student Alliance meeting last Thursday. One of three editors present (and one of two white people), I attended to represent The Chronicle at a bilateral discussion.
I never thought the forum would be easy for anyone present. Dialogue between The Chronicle and BSA has never been marked by a seamless swapping of ideas. And though some discussion generated was positive-we clarified our letters and guest column policies; they helped us understand how some of our coverage can sometimes be construed as insensitive-I left feeling like I'd emerged from a unproductive blame-fest.
Just as the Palestine Solidarity Conference and a column titles "The Jews" last October spawned a divisive November and a debate-ridden December, I fear the same thing will happen this year.
In our classrooms, in quad protests and discussion forums, we blame each other. It's so easy, after all. We tussle within the petty context of campus politics, feeling we are each justified in our own tirade.
Perhaps this is a good thing. In all our finger-pointing, maybe one day we'll find ourselves pointing at the same thing, the source of our collective woe.
But until that day, I'll hope for something better. I'll hope we'll learn to look critically at the world around us, rather than at the people beside us-mostly because there are questions other than, "How could you?" that beg asking.
What, for example, are the characteristics unique to our campus, to our state, to our region and to our nation that foster ethnic or racial antagonism? What about our society determines what makes a campus newspapers' coverage lopsided? What causes respected public figures to describe crime elimination in terms of race, of all things-even if being absurd for the sake of argument? And what makes a columnist cry out against a campus organization with such disdain?
We don't ask these questions because the answer is unsavory. The answer is that we ourselves, each of us, must bear the blame. If such problems are constructs of our campus and our society, then as card-carrying members of both, we are all at fault.
We stand at November's cusp. I cannot tell if this will be another bitter, name-calling fall or if we will start asking the harder questions.
I'm guessing we won't. It is much easier, after all, just to point.
Sarah Ball is Trinity sophomore and editorial page managing editor for the Chronicle. Her column runs every Thursday.
Editor's note: Although Sarah Ball serves as editorial page managing editor, the opinions represented in this column are her own and not an official Chronicle statement.
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