What happened to the benches at the bus stop on main West? Undergraduates, graduates and visiting professors who aren’t given a parking space on West and random visiting high school students and their families who are savvy enough to figure out the complex transportation system now have to stand and wait for a bus. On what will the protesters under white sheets protest? Have the benches gone the route of the Hideaway and the Oak Room, disappearing into obscurity and leaving behind only a vague sense among the older students of “hey, what happened?”
Why can’t we walk on the grass on the academic quad? I remember people enjoying various quad activities over there, or even being able to cut across from Allen to Perkins without worrying that someone will fly up behind you on a Segway and tackle you before you step over the yellow string. Are we saving the grass for something, or is it just going to be killed off by the big white tents like it is every year? Then it will have to grow back and we won’t be able to walk on it again (until we are alumni, of course).
What happened to Friday and Saturday nights on campus? Wasn’t there a time not too long ago when there was some sort of party on main West every weekend, with alcohol to be had for some blissful underage drinking and no party monitors in bright green shirts? When you didn’t have to go off campus to get busted by Durham police officers because Duke had not yet pushed all alcohol away to make the campus appear to be safer?
Why are there only enough laundering facilities for approximately 27 people on Central?
And speaking of Central, why did they make us pay full price for a parking pass if we aren’t even going to be able to find a parking place? I don’t know if the lack of spots is due to off-campus commuters, hospital employees or, more likely, Parking Services ignorance, but I’m about to demand a refund.
Why do we have to pay extra for telephone and cable? Cell phones are making the land line obsolete (so just accept it and give it to us for free). Shouldn’t television, the watching of which certainly is an “activity,” be covered by the increased price of the “activity fee?” Or is it that OIT is there to run a business and therefore profit from their “customers” (on whom they have a monopoly) just like RLHS and their three year housing requirement? Are guys going to have to pay to live in commons rooms again this year because silly Duke juniors won’t go abroad in the spring and miss the basketball season? And will we once again be reprimanded for “not having our priorities in order” when we study for midterms instead of packing the house against Clemson?
What happened to individuality on this campus, and how do we get it back? I would like to know what exact moment it was that Duke students sat down and collectively decided to try as hard as possible to become the same person. Wait, are we still wearing those awesome tan boots with the fur lining? Mine got scuffed, and I’m going to need a new pair. Yeah, my summer in New York or D.C. was great, but I’m already looking forward to Myrtle next year. Hey, can I borrow one of your little pleated tennis skirts?
Why is the crossword puzzle fuzzy sometimes, and why does it always have to be on the days when I need it most? What is it that DSG actually does, aside from that one time when they vetoed the idea of security cameras only to have it overturned by the people who really wear the pants at this school? Where will the next traffic circle be? Why didn’t guys get a bleach pen in their Sponge Bob Campus Pack (do we not launder)? Why does the free T-shirt at Midnight Breakfast cost $6.95? Why do we now have to swipe to get out of the Allen lot? And what happened to the benches?
Eric Vivier is a Trinity senior.
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