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Contraceptive Reviews

For those not ready for the MRS, DAD and MOM degrees (or in non-sex survey terms, those who want to improve their complexions and regulate their cycles), recent innovations in the birth control sector bring orgasmic news. Here are some of the MVPs of the contraceptive team:

The Patch: Most Publicized Player
It's not that the pill is hard to remember to take, it's just so easy to forget when you blackout. Honestly though, unless you are a clockwork vitamin popper, daily pills can be cumbersome and the Patch offers freedom from the schedule.

Unfortunately, it also offers a dirty band-aid look--the first day you put it on. And then you still have to wear it for another six days, until you look like a dirty five-year-old who refuses to change that soiled Sesame Street bandage on her elbow. The upside is that you usually sport the small square in concealed place like your derriere, but the downside is that if you need the patch, your derriere may not be that concealed.

The Ring: Rookie of the Year
Luckily there is a more concealed place, where light doesn't shine, to hide birth control. Yeah, there. The Ring uses the same time-release principles as the Patch, but instead of changing it every week like the Patch, you change the Ring only once a cycle. So the ratio of remembering goes from 28 times a cycle to 3 times a cycle to 2 times (insert and remove) a cycle.

Unlike a diaphragm that requires specific placement within the vaginal region to be effective, the small plastic circle requires simply being there. Doctors warn that you or your partner may feel it during sex, but add that they've received few complaints.

Yasmine: Defensive Specialist
Infused with anti-bloating diuretics and a slightly lower dose of estrogen than many methods, Yasmine promises to prevent bloating associated with traditional birth control and even aid in weight loss. But in eliminating the bloating, these little pills also take away the biggest plus of birth control (besides not having babies): bigger boobs. Sad.


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