It's the beginning of February and unbelievably the Last Day of Classes is already in sight. Those who are seniors are freaking out if they don't have a job yet and those who aren't are already dreading their senior year Last Day of Classes. So juniors, sophomores and even freshmen are going to look to solve that horrible problem of not making over $100,000 in five years by making sure they are guaranteed to get a decent job after stepping out of Wally Wade, diploma in hand. And that means around this time of year these students are going to be looking for one thing--summer internships.
Yes, all across campus you can hear the sounds of keyboards clattering as students look to beef up their resumes. (For example, I recently saw Sen. Richard Lugar speak a few weeks ago and learned quite a lot from him, so I'm going to put on my resume that I shadowed him for a day. Resume inflation is that easy).
Some students who are desperately trying to get experience in whatever field they're interested will get caught in a hellish circle when they are turned down for internships ... because they don't have any experience. Others will be networking, contacting that rich uncle they have rarely spoken to before in desperate efforts to get a good gig for the summer.
I was talking to my friend Josh back home about my summer plans (or lack thereof) and about how I already know people who seem to have these fancy internships at high-powered magazines or investment firms when my friend (who goes to a great school, but lacks the high-pressure intensity of Duke) said, "Dude, chill out. None of us are doing anything fancy and we're not freaking out about it."
I thought closely about what Josh was saying and realized nearly all my friends from back home will be spending the summer working at part time jobs and spending their free time hanging out and playing lots of Nintendo.
That made me think, "I should be doing that, too! I worked hard this year and I should be enjoying my summer like all of my friends." Josh reiterated, "Johnny, why don't you just come home and enjoy yoursummer?"
Why shouldn't I? All my other friends are. My friend Matt is working at the Olive Garden (or as he affectionately has come to call it, "The OG"). My friends Scott and Cal are waiting tables at Chile's. In fact Scott recently tried out for bartender and made it. He now spends his free time playing X-Box, making practice drinks at home and mastering bottle tricks like Tom Cruise in "Cocktail." My other friend Josh will be a lifeguard at the local water park and sit on top of a tower ooogling high school girls (Josh is a creepy guy). Then there's my friend Billy who plans on not doing anything but going to concerts and seeing how long he can grow his hair out before his Mom makes him cut it.
I think we should all try to lessen the competitiveness at this school and all agree to sign a pact just to "chill" this summer and enjoy life like we did in grade school when we had slumber parties, played Super Nintendo and stayed up past 10. This should be a document everyone on campus signs including every administration official.
Sadly, I won't do that. You won't do that. In fact, the minute I finish this column I'm going to e-mail my professors for recommendations and contemplate whether driving around with my grandfather during his 1988 mayoral campaign qualifies as "campaign experience."
We'll probably all get some sort of experience this summer which will help us get some fancy Wall Street job out of college. This job though will inevitably involve more stress than we have at Duke and force us to hire a psychiatrist after we have our first heart attack at thirty. All the while my friend Billy will still be enjoying life, still going to concerts every week and still mooching off his parents for money. When I'm sitting in my mansion twenty years from now (knock on wood), I'll be horribly jealous of him.
Jonathan Pattillo is a Trinity sophomore. His column appears every other Friday.
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