Script Summary: Three nubile and virginal Recess section editors, Meg Lawson, Kelly McVicker and Cary Hughes, and one mysteriously sexy managing editor, Greg Bloom, embark upon a voyage of excitement, hardship, and self-discovery when they go together to see pop diva Britney Spears' movie debut.
(Page 1) West campus bus stop.
Greg: [enters the car] Where are we going--Cosmic?
[Meg hits the lock button as Kelly and Cary strap him down.]
Meg: No. You will come with us to see Britney.
[Greg claws at the window and his screams fade as the car drives away.]
(Page 3) In the car.
Cary: Is this supposed to be any good?
Kelly: I heard it actually got laughed off at the preview in London. Laughed off the screen.
Meg: Is that possible?
(Page 5) The intrepid four approach the ticket window.
Greg: Uhhh, four tickets to... Britney Spears?
[The ten adolescent girls in line start giggling. Greg growls at them and they scatter, squealing.]
(Page 7) While seated, they observe the decidedly-not-nubile audience.
Kelly: Greg, if the three of us weren't here you would definitely be suspect of pedophilia.
Meg: An army of mini-Britneys!
(Page 12) Second scene of Crossroads.
Cary: Three minutes in and she's already in her underwear.
Greg: This movie is awesome!
(Page 17) The karaoke scene ("I Love Rock and Roll") where Britney's assets are showed off to a cheering bar.
Kelly: They needed money, so their choices were to prostitute themselves or sing. So naturally they dress up like prostitutes when they come out to sing.
Cary: Hell, I've pulled more money than that on Amateur Night.
Meg: Yeah, but amateur what?
Greg: This is just about the most electrifying Karaoke contest I've ever seen.
Kelly: You can tell that she's a total Pat Benatar fan.
(Page 20) An interminable amount of screentime passes.
Cary: That's interesting--the characters are developed primarily by singing in a convertible.
Meg: And giggling.
Greg: It had me until she put her pants on.
(Page 25) A surprise cameo shot...
All four: Jesse Camp!
[The one-time MTV wanna-be VJ goes otherwise-unrecognized]
Meg: I think some of these girls were conceived during his fifteen minutes of fame.
(Page 30) The four emerge.
Cary: I knew the movie was for 12-year old girls, but apparently it was also written by twelve-year old girls.
Meg: There're lessons here for all of us to learn.
Kelly: Like, disobey your dad and throw away your future to sing and screw ex-cons?
Greg: I never knew girls were so boring.
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