DSG Does Madison Ave.

Today is election day for DSG hopefuls, and after a month-long parade o' politicized whoring, the inevitable barrage of ballot snafus will be welcome closure to Duke's annual production of D.C. in Durham. If you've stumbled through the Bryan Center or lingered near a bulletin board, you've probably waded through campaign flyers--the Charmin Ultra of the undergraduate electoral process. We'd offer a "best and worst" list of these pathetic support pleas, but the predictable dearth of the latter yields only the following:

Worst Campaign Slogan: Clifford Yu Davison (vice president for facilities and athletics) "A vote for me is a vote for Yu!" Cliff, buddy, dust yourself off and try again--we all know you've been using this one since elementary school.

Worst Attempt at "Laidback Hardass" Theme: Joshua Jean-Baptiste (president) Hold up, Jerry Maguire. The full-page photos and loosened collars were one thing, but the cell-phone action shot? Hope you're dialing 911.

Worst O80s Cinematic Ripoff: Emily Grey (president) So who gets the vote, Emily Grey or Jennifer Grey? Either way, it's dirty dancing on the BC Walkway. "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." But what about Emily?

Worst Website Tie-In: Brady Beecham (president) With ominous voice-overs and maudlin background music, Brady's overdone web empire reminds us who Duke really is: Overachievers with too much time on their hands.


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