After a hellish night last night--I was up until 4:30 a.m. writing a paper--I decided to give myself a break, take my mind off work and do something I hadn't done in quite sometime. I sat down, beer in hand, to watch some sports.
Fortunately for me, the night's airwaves happened to be filled with sporting events. Not only was Game 3 of the World Series on, but the NBA was also opening tonight. A quick look at the listings showed that the featured game tonight was the Washington Wizards versus the New York Knicks. Translation: the start of the Michael Jordan show, part III.
I found myself faced with quite a predicament, and being lazy, I almost decided to shun both of these options and watch the Professional Bowling Association's Johnny Petraglia Open, the main event on ESPN. Luckily, that epiphany only lasted a few seconds before a sensible frame of mind set in.
On the one hand, I hate NBA basketball because I think it takes a beautiful game and ruins it with money, arrogance, showboating, etc.--all the common reasons any sports journalist hates the NBA. On the other, he is MJ, one of the few good things left about the NBA. No matter how much you like him or hate him, it is really fun to watch him play. Plus, he is the best basketball player--no check that--he is the best athlete we will ever see.
Jordan had the added bonus of being able to rub it in to my friends, after he almost knocked the Knicks, who laughed at me after I took him in the first round of my fantasy basketball draft. Also, if the Wizards won, I'd get an extra shot since the guys in my league are all Knicks fans anyway, but that was neither really here nor there.
Baseball was a different story. Aside from college basketball, it is my favorite sport. However, the idea of watching the Yankees play Arizona is entirely unappealing, not because I hate the Yankees (although, aside from North Carolina there's nobody I would rather watch lose), but mainly because it is boring. It's boring to a guy who finds pitchers' duels interesting and boring because even though both of the teams are worthless, there's no cool subplot like a Subway Series.
I turned Game 1 on ready to watch the opening of the main event of my second-favorite sport, only to realize that I was watching the Yankees, the team that makes the postseason and takes the World Series every year and wins so much it is annoyingly boring to watch.
There was a reason that the 0-4 Cowboys versus the 0-4 Redskins Monday Night Football game drew a higher TV rating than the final game of the Yankees-A's divisional playoff series. I guess the public also feels that watching the two worst teams in football--a sport whose victors actually change from year to year--was more interesting than watching the Yankees win again.
That was half of the problem; the other half is that they were playing the Diamondbacks.
The Diamondbacks?
The first thing you have to ask yourself about the Diamondbacks is who, outside the state of Arizona, likes them? Bitter Mariners or Phillies fans may hate them because they stole their stars, but all Philly fans are bitter since their city has not won a title in eons and no one cares about a team that wins 116 games and can't make the World Series.
The thing that annoys me most about the Diamondbacks, however, is the fact that their owner, Jerry Colangelo, pulled a Wayne Huizenga and bought the team's way to the World Series. There's no reason to be proud of the fact they are the quickest expansion team to make it there. The Kansas City Royals could be in the World Series if they spent enough money.
Then there's always the fact that any team that has Craig Counsell as a series MVP cannot be exciting.
But the way in which baseball is set up, expansion teams don't mean a thing except if they can buy their way to the Series in a few years. There is a reason the 1969 Mets are special: They won with terrible players having a great year; they didn't buy a championship. According to all the unwritten rules of sports, the Diamondbacks should still be bottom feeders in the NL West, building a loyal fan base, signing good young players and waiting for their day to come.
That tangent aside, it boils down to the fact that the series entertains John McCain's constituents, residents of Manhattan and fairweather Yankee fans (who should be Mets fans) on Long Island.
On the sentimental side, there was always the chance to watch President George W. Bush throw out the first pitch--but the verdict is still out on whether or not he can even spell the word "Yankee."
So after considering this, I clicked the remote to TBS as quickly as possible, and even though I hate the NBA, it is much more fun than one of the most boring series in living memory.
Final verdict: Jordan in a landslide. The only question that remains to be answered is whether he can he bowl 300, because after 10 minutes of no defense, the PBA is looking pretty tempting.
Paul Doran is a Trinity junior and sports managing editor.
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