Arena Football tackles the Triangle

RALEIGH - It wasn't a mad scientist who came up with Arena League Football-it was a mad mathematician.

Halve the distance, double the points and for good measure, inject a caffeine IV into an NFL playbook-welcome Raleigh to the world of Arena League Football.

It begins with fireworks during player introductions, ends with an autograph session and in between there's the scantily clad Snake Charmers, loud music, loud announcers, and yes, more scantily clad Snake Charmers.

For anybody who's ever followed football, understanding what's happening in the Arena Football whirlwind is little more challenging than figuring out the morning Garfield strip.

There are 63 rule differences between the AFL and the NFL, says league commissioner David Baker, a 6-foot-6 mountain of a man with a handshake perhaps tougher than the league he touts.

The eight-on-eight stuff you get, the substitution rules aren't all that important and all the other 50 or so just don't seem to make much difference.

But there's the no-punting thing, the nine-foot wide goal posts, the walls where out-of-bounds markers are supposed to go and those giant nets where once a ball bounces off of them, everything is live.

There's also a lot of blaring music. Between each and every play, the audience is treated to snippets of all their favorites. That's why our MVP is the disc jockey who managed to not repeat a single song.

After all, they've got a television deal (granted, it's with TNN, but that's a start), top-notch athletes and even the most hallowed of all hallmarks of pro sports-a labor dispute.

Sure, nobody went the Kenny Anderson route and complained that they'd have to sell one of their "many cars" because of the dispute. Or at least if they did, only the local used Honda lot would know. But in its own dysfunctional way, the holdout/lockout gave the little league that could its own moment in the sports spotlight.

Of course it only took 13 years.

And one Warner.

Kurt Warner, who went from first round draft pick to AFL superstar with the Iowa Barnstormers, gave the league a legitimacy it hadn't found in the thousands of players that had passed across its field.

Every Rams playoff broadcast went on endlessly about how the AFL star became an NFL MVP, and with his every mention, you can be sure Baker's grin grew wider.

And as far as the gate receipts bear out, the game is selling itself. 14,123 packed into the Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena, a figure Baker projected to be three years ahead of schedule.

Jackson, for one, isn't that surprised by the game's popularity.

"It's fan friendly," Jackson says. "You can see all the action. You can literally see the grimaces and expressions on guys' faces because you're that close. It's a festive atmosphere out there. It's a great event."

And that's just it. Is arena football a legitimate sport, or is it just an event? Is the game itself fun, or is the Arena League just an excuse to get together with the boys and drink beer?

Not that that's a bad thing per se.

Sure the scoring is there, but if you get down to the nuts and bolts of it, there really are just a few more scores than an American League baseball game. In football, they just count by six instead of one.

Friday night's home opener for the Carolina Cobras typifies what arena ball is all about. Lots of points, real quick. Carolina lost 61-53 despite holding a 21-point lead, thanks to the power of 41 second-half points. Best of all, the game was put out of reach by vintage arena ball action.

With less than four minutes left, Carolina botched a kickoff that bounced off the metal frame of the 32-foot nets and two plays later, Florida quarterback Fred "Yes, I'm the less-talented older brother of Steve" McNair hit receiver Eddie "Only in Arena League could I catch 10 passes for 236 yards in a single game" Williams for a touchdown.

Jackson said his team learned a valuable lesson, but it's probably safe to say all in attendance learned something.

"Whether you're up 40 points, 21 points or five points, this game is never over."

And while Jackson's 40 figure was used for the purpose of embellishment, he isn't too far off. But when scoring is so common, it loses all meaning (take that however you'd like).

So I guess the moral of Arena Ball is this: There can be too much of a good thing.

Well, except for maybe the Snake Charmers. We can't get enough of them.