Few things in life are certain. Over the few weeks here at Duke, I'll officially add one more item to that list. As sure as the crow dies, every Tuesday brings yet another rebuttal to STONE COLD's column.
Now I'm not sure about this, but I heard a rumor that the Department of Weights and Measurements plans to apply a new definition of the week based on this fact. On that same point, they could probably create an SI unit for naïveté with a little analysis of STONE COLD's critics. Whenever I read about the critical issues which he somehow exacerbates, I seriously guffaw. Will someone explain to me how a self-proclaimed twerp writing for a student publication can influence global politics? Once I'm convinced of this point, I'll then realize how easily civil rights activists like Frederick Douglass obtained their goals.
My point is that you, any one of you, might not like STONE COLD's column; he may write things that offend you only for the purpose of offending you; he may crack derogatory jokes or just say something that's so true you wish he never said it; but unfortunately we have this thing called the First Amendment. I know, it sucks living in a democracy and we all wish we could move to Cuba, but for now this is what we have so we have to work with it.
The next time you feel like voicing how much of a jerk STONE COLD is, stop to think what makes him not a jerk. At least consider how we're all many things. You may be just a woman, or just a Jew, or just an Asian, but above all, we're all just humans, and that's a stone cold fact.
Alan Lebetkin
Trinity '03
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