Dating at Duke

As Valentine's Day approaches, students are thinking of dating, romance and reserving the Chapel four years in advance. The problem: they might all be myths.

"This school is basically just people hooking up and that's it," said Trinity senior Jordan Litrownik, who has a girlfriend at another school. "I've rarely seen any real dating."

"The closest thing to dating is, hey, do you want to come to my room and watch a movie," added Trinity sophomore Brandon Yarckin. "But that's really just a ploy for hooking up."

For students, a romantic date at the University can be harder to find than a parking space. And descriptions of University dating as "nonexistent" or "stupid," have led Health Education Specialist Roy Rodriguez to wonder why. Rodriguez, who works at the Healthy Devil, came to Duke three months ago from the State University of New York at Oswego. His impression from his work there, and at other schools across the country, is that other students date much more than their Duke counterparts.

"My impression from all over is that most students practice the dating rituals," he said. "They have the idea that a date is more than just going back to somebody's room and hooking up. Dinner and a movie isn't as prevalent as it used to be in the '50s, but it happens at a lot of places and it doesn't seem to be happening here."

It wouldn't seem on the surface that dating at the University would be so sparse.

"You'd think that at a preppie, rich school there'd be lots of dating," Yarckin said. "Like, 'Hey Buffy, want to go to the club?'"

So why is there so little dating? One theory purported by many students is that Durham's nightlife isn't conducive to dating. For students without a car, especially, the options are bleak.

"There's peer pressure," Litrownik said. "Guys don't want to be made fun of for hanging out with a girl and going on a date."

Such a mentality penetrates at all levels of the University, from seniors to freshmen.

"Duke's mentality is more of guys who don't want to be in relationships that much," said Trinity freshman Lindsay Locke. "The guys who I have seen who are dating aren't rushing fraternities. It's a whole macho thing that they're doing."

But although students might not be going out on traditional dates, they are using standard channels to express their attraction. For example, a Student Health employee said the University distributes over 10,000 packs of condoms each year, with two per pack.

"I think that the sexual activity on this campus is as high as it is anywhere else, but I'm still trying to figure out what those relationships are based on," Rodriguez. "If you believe dating and relationships are about the physical stuff and not the romance, you're sorely mistaken."

Dates at Duke may in fact stem from physical encounters, if not the other way around. "Dating at Duke is a post-hook-up syndrome," Litrownik said. "After they hook-up at a party, the guy feels obligated to take the girl out."

One sophomore, who wished to remain anonymous, complained that the more traditional date-first model is sometimes disappointing. "I spent $150 on some chick last night that didn't hook up with me," he said.

Despite the general trend though, there are some couples that survive. After all, people do get married in the Chapel, even though they might not reserve it quite so far in advance.

"There's some great people here who are doing some wonderful dating," Rodriguez said.

Trinity senior Cara Vileno said its usually one or the other, however. "Either people have long-distance relationships or are involved in a serious relationship here or people just hook up," she said.

On Valentine's Day, however, even Duke students might be able to make an exception.

"Valentine's Day is probably the most dating that goes on at Duke all year," said Trinity sophomore Karla Fredericks.

Maureen Milligan contributed to this story.