Fill in the blank.
The Cameron Crazies are the most _____ fans in sports.
a) energetic
b) enthusiastic
c) loyal
d) intelligent
e) creative
If you answered all of the above, you'd be wrong. If you answered a), b), c) and d), give yourself a cookie.
The Crazies did an excellent job of picking up on the good suggestions made by Dave Berger in his only partially asinine column on Friday. The signs and the chants that were composed to make a point of Virginia's lack of ethical and moral behavioral traits were on the ball.
However, when it came time to support our own club, the Crazies came up very, very short. I suppose you can't place all the blame on them. After all, because of a typo in the DSG computer system, they were forced to camp out for games against the worst team in the ACC and one of the worst teams in the Big East, and couldn't get any sleep in the 48 hours preceding the contest. And of course, the panting, basketball-crazed, naive freshmen listened to every word spoken by the infamous DSG monarch when he came to give his new procedure speech on East Campus.
The Crazies were tired, thanks to the new, utterly moronic line procedures, and they were too drained to think up any good chants to support their beloved Blue Devils.
The two rhythmic chants of player's names must stop. The "Car-men Wall-ace" chant used to spur on Elton Brand and the Crazy Towel Guy, among others, and the "Wo-Jo" chant (which, by the way, is a derivation of a chant used by Boston Red Sox right field faithful to mock Darryl Strawberry during the 1986 World Series) used to support Chris Burgess, Trajan Langdon and Steve Wojciechowski-just to name a few-have gotten so bland that many people refuse to take part in them.
The Crazies used to be known for chanting "fehlwurf" at Detlef Schrempf (airball in his native German) and starting the distracting tactics around the other team's basket when opposing players attempted free throws. Now we're straining for some new material.
So on that note, here I am trying to think up nicknames and chants to breathe new life into the most historic building and best fans in all of sports. Here are some of my humble suggestions. You, as students at the No. 3 university in the country, can take whatever you want, tweak the ones that need adjustment and scrap the ones that, well, just aren't that good.
Let's start with Elton Brand. There are so many things to say about the preseason ACC Freshman of the Year that we should be able to come up with numerous chants to get him going. His nickname is L-Train; therefore, I propose a Quad City DJs salute. Whenever Elton slams the ball home over a clearly inferior opponent, or whenever he blocks a shot forced up by a wildly driving, over-ambitious point guard, how about a rousing chorus of "Come On, Ride the Train?" Or even just some train-like noises? You know, "choo-choo, choo-choo?" And put in that little up and down arm movement for full effect.
Next, we need something for Burgess. I've heard several proposals. We could call him "Stormin' Mormon" ("Go Big Mormon" is reserved for Matt Christenson when he returns), or how about "High-C?" Just something new that he might not have heard before.
Roshown McLeod "of the clan McLeod" has adapted well to his new role around the perimeter of the basket. He takes over when he sees the team slumping, much as Trajan does from the outside. When it comes to chants, "there can be only one."
Now, bowing before the emperor Trajan is definitely deserved, but we don't need to "Wo-jo"ize his name. We he scores, which he should a good ten or so times a game, how about something like, "he's just good," or "you can't stop him," or even "All-American." Anything that really shows the world just how good our boy really is.
Taymon "the Barbarian" or "the Punisher" Domzalski should be easy. When he comes in to give the opponents a tough time around the boards, chants of "punish him" should be heard throughout the student sections. The other alternative is, of course, for everyone in Cameron to let out the most masculine, primal, animalistic scream they possible can.
We bark at Wojo to show our appreciation of his intensity and hustle. The same characteristics can be seen in Shane Battier and should not go unappreciated. Now since we can't bark at him, as we do "the bulldog," we should think of another way to push him to the limits of endurance and rough and tumble play that demoralizes and fatigues any opponent.
Mike Chapell's three-point sniping is becoming so accurate that "automatic" is appropriate. We could also just stand there nodding our heads confidently. Can we call Will Avery "greased lightning?" On defense, much as we bark at those who try and fail to get by Wojo, we could electrocute those who attempt to get by our man.
I have to go write papers and study for finals, but I hope that come Wednesday, when Villanova comes into Cameron to get smashed by our No. 1 Blue Devils, the Crazies will be ready with some new stuff to bring back the Crazies of old. Maybe that will revive the intense atmosphere that gave us the name "Crazies" in the first place, establishing Cameron Indoor Stadium as the hardest place for a visitor to play and the easiest for a home team to enjoy.
Dave Schepard is a Trinity junior. He'll be pretty happy if even one of his suggestions catches on.
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