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Letter: Tenting trivia test is ridiculous

(01/15/19 5:00am)

As a four-time alumnus of blue tenting (in the early days of black tenting where such an endeavor involved weeks in K-Ville with no tent), I was more than a bit miffed to see the content of the trivia test given to would-be residents of K-Ville. If there is more interest in tenting than there are available tents, every effort should be made to ensure those who receive the first shot at those spots are the most dedicated fans. But by focusing more on the minutia of the team’s statistics rather than general knowledge that Duke basketball fans should have, all the test in its current form measures is which tents are the best at memorizing numbers. The most dedicated Duke fans likely know the years and locations of all our National Championship victories, the names and numbers of all the retired jerseys, and probably some interesting trivia about the players… but they may not remember the exact number of blocks Marques Bolden had against Auburn or the team’s number of dunks per game!  All of these complaints could and should be easily addressed, though. If the goal is to reward the most dedicated fans with front-of-the-line status, there’s a straightforward solution: base tenting position off of attendance (and, if necessary, time spent in line) for the early season games that have historically had less than full-throated student sections. The students who have been front-and-center in Section 17 for blowouts over the likes of Stetson are the ones who not only most deserve to be there again against UNC, but are the ones the program should want to be in that position. This seems like an easy, straightforward solution to the problem, and it flummoxes me why the Line Monitors are still relying on what almost amounts to chance in the form of this ridiculous trivia test to remedy this. Disenchantment with the Line Monitors and tenting will only grow if this continues.





Words matter

(11/26/18 5:00am)

It seems almost fitting that I applied for this column as a joke. After all, isn’t that what satire is? The joke that’s just a little too real, the one that makes people laugh uneasily and start looking for the exits. On the application, I wrote a short piece about Larry Moneta and Avengers: Infinity War, except this time it wasn’t the superheroes who dissolved into dust, but our beloved coffee shop Joe van Gogh. You know the meme. It wasn’t very serious work, but underneath the bad puns and stupid jokes it rang true. 


After the Hyde House hearing, a look back at DSG Judiciary’s most interesting cases

(11/07/18 9:14am)

The Duke Student Government Judiciary has been on the minds of many Duke students recently as it recently declined to grant Hyde House—the proposed selective social group—a new hearing in the DSG Senate. Though this case is over, it was not the Judiciary’s first significant case—or the most interesting. 



Bookbagging, advising and stress, oh my!

(10/31/18 4:00am)

While the end of October marks the culmination of one spooky season, yet another is just beginning for us here at dear old Duke. The start of bookbagging for the Spring semester is a stressful time for many, riddled with unease and uncertainty as students wade through DukeHub searching for the perfect schedule. Tis’ the season when Google searches for “T-recs?” spike, students frantically cross-check RateMyProfessors for red flags and the frustration of adhering to a ‘Long Range Plan’ reasserts itself. For seniors, the thrill of finally being first or second to register competes with the bittersweet reality of their final semester. Meanwhile, underclassmen will find plenty of relatable meme content to soothe the pain of watching every class in their bookbag fill with upperclassmen. 



‘Tis the season to be spooky

(10/29/18 5:18pm)

The leaves are changing and the first melancholy note of autumn plays in the crisp air. Jack-o-Lanterns line the quad as campus squirrels fight amongst themselves to devour this tasty orange treat. Halloween draws ever closer, bringing with it the ghoulish costume contests and spooky themed parties that define October’s character. 


Without walk-up line, how will we feel the rush of anarchy?

(10/25/18 5:46pm)

A recent Chronicle article outlined the line monitors’ plan to “kill” the walk-up line for the home basketball game against UNC. I agree that Duke isn’t perfect, but the mob power demonstrated in the 2018 UNC game walk-up line was surely the closest thing to an idyllic culture on our campus in recent memory. Without walk-up line, after all, how will Duke students feel the rush of anarchy?




Back of the line

(10/15/18 4:00am)

It’s a cool autumn day in K-ville. The cloudless sky is a rich Duke blue and a slight breeze tosses a few browning leaves down the sidewalk. A large crowd of students has gathered here today for an important announcement from their tenting overlords. Framed against the noonday sun stand two co-head line monitors. (Why are there two? No one knows for sure, but maybe it’s because their mascot is redundancy). 





The end of the 93rd

(04/30/18 4:00am)

Amidst the frantic rush to finish up the academic year, tunnel vision has set in for most students: got to cram for my orgo exam, got to finish up my senior thesis, got to decide what I’m going to wear to Myrtle. Lost among the seemingly endless bucket list of things to do this week is an appreciation that yet another year at Dear Old Duke is finally coming to a close. Ever since January 1925, when Trinity College students came back from winter break to find their campus newly christened as Duke, this institution has been progressing forward and changing quickly with each passing year, with new challenges awaiting it each new cycle. As members of this institution, we should take it upon ourselves to reflect on the events of this academic cycle, and the progress (or lack thereof) we have made as a community. 


The WU 42: A ranking of the best of West Union

(04/27/18 8:53pm)

My facial expressions alone were enough to give my friend the giggles as I cautiously surveyed, chewed and swallowed the raw fish chunks of my salmon poke bowl, one at a time, back on Jan. 16. It would be a season of firsts. We were both tenting for the first time (we had set up shop in K-Ville just five days before). That was my first poke bowl. And that poke bowl had just become the first of many stops along one of the greatest journeys of my college career.