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Are you uncomfortable? Good.

(03/21/23 4:06am)

Why do we feel discomfort? When we break an arm diving onto home base, and we’re stuck in a cast for six weeks, why do we feel pain? According to The Pain Center of Arizona, discomfort “is a signal that your body has been damaged in some way” and “it’s a signal to your brain that something is not right.” In other words, discomfort indicates that something important, but sensitive, needs to be addressed. 

You’re too old to date Leonardo DiCaprio, but you’re too young to have already “peaked”

(02/01/23 4:35pm)

If there’s one thing that I love about The Internet, it’s how everyone shames Leonardo DiCaprio, 48, for refusing to date women over 25 years old. Sure, if it’s a legal and consenting relationship, who am I to judge them? However, you must admit that it’s icky how he refuses to date anyone older than 25, as if he has a peculiar fixation on youth. Unfortunately, this obsession with youthfulness is not restricted to Mr. DiCaprio’s notorious dating history, but it has also infected our current societies ideologies and perspectives.  

Let freedom ring from a fishbowl.

(12/07/22 5:00am)

 What’s your opinion on goldfish? I’ve always liked them. They’re quiet, docile, and won’t make a ruckus like eagles, donkeys, and elephants sometimes do. Here’s a fun fact about goldfish. Did you know that there was a city council in Monza, Italy that forbid people from raising goldfish in curved fishbowls because the council declared it as animal cruelty given that the curved surfaces would cause the fish to have a distorted reality? I am not mocking the goldfish, especially since a caged eagle lives in an equally distorted reality, arguably to a lesser degree. However, I’ve always known goldfish to stay in their own lanes, focusing on improving themselves, and prospering. Thus, you can imagine my shock and amazement when I found out some goldfish were pounding into their fishbowls, protesting to be let out. 

Let’s throw our garbage in the trash, not our morals

(11/10/22 5:00am)

I love bagels, especially the toasted Everything Bagel with cream cheese from Panera. I always joke that they’re called Everything Bagels not because of the various “everything” toppings but that they leave a mess everywhere. The poppy seeds and onion toppings always scatter onto my lap, and I, preoccupied with scrolling through Twitter, mindlessly brush the mess onto the floor. Hurried to attend class, I quickly chow down the rest of my bagel, dust the remaining seasoning off my hands, and leave. 

I'm okay with you being dead

(09/14/22 4:00am)

If you’re familiar with quantum mechanics (because why wouldn’t you be) or a fan of The Big Bang Theory, then you’ve probably heard of Schrodinger’s cat. In simple terms, Schrodinger’s cat is a thought experiment where a cat is put into a box with something that could kill it (ex. a radioactive atom). The box is then sealed. Thus, until the box is opened, and the cat’s status can be empirically observed, the cat can be pronounced as both dead and alive.

“See you later alligator, in denial crocodile!”

(03/24/22 4:00am)

Apex predators have a weird superiority complex. I suppose some of that entitlement stems from not having any natural predators. Top of the food chain: a life with no risk and a risk to all life. Sounds riveting. For example, consider a crocodile. Yesterday, I watched a brief nature documentary of an aggressive crocodile hunting in a swamp, snapping its jaws at what seemed to be a couple of bass fish. Between you and I, the crocodile was agitating a rather infuriated electric eel. What a silly crocodile! Doesn’t it know that there’s no favorable outcome for what’s about to happen? It’s about to, quite literally, bite itself in its ass.  

“I am in love with my cousin.”

(02/11/22 7:21pm)

I grew up in Florida, which is a state infamous for its peculiarity. Among all peculiarities, a common one is that some Floridians’ first kiss was one of their cousins. Disclaimer: not everyone in Florida goes around making out with their relatives (@Alabama), but it was a quirky fun fact about a few too many people I knew. However, no matter how many times I heard the same “we were just fooling around” story, I always first felt shocked, then afraid, and ultimately, repulsed. My extreme reaction told me that this shouldn’t be happening.  

Burnout? Yeah, it’s that time again.

(12/09/21 5:00am)

Are you constantly exhausted and depressed, with an endless pit of anxiety tumbling in your gut? Do you find yourself re-reading paragraphs of your fifty page reading assignment, as if the words are flying over your head? Are your 8:30s starting to hit different in the mornings? Do you want to just bash your head with a textbook, praying that some of the content transfers to your single brain cell?