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Letter to the editor

(04/03/17 5:11am)

It’s a fact I enjoy repeating that until the 20th century there were no universities in Venice. Any young Venetians who wanted to study—or whose families wanted them to train to take on the family business—had to go to the mainland for higher education, far away from the city itself. The reason for this was that the administrators of the Venetian Republic did not want rebellious, ideological and idealistic youth protesting in the streets of the capital. This fact jumps to mind now because it illuminates an obvious truth: universities are, and always have been, hotbeds of anti-status quo sentiment.


Death rushes headlong to meet us all

(04/21/16 5:33am)

Well here it is: my last ever column for The Chronicle. This’ll be my 32nd piece of opinion writing for this paper, topping off almost 30,000 words of work written across 16 months. If I’m honest with myself, I probably should have taken the advice of that curmudgeonly old man at the New York gay pride parade this year and spun them all together into some kind of independent study for class credit. First piece of advice to take away from this column, people: always follow the unsolicited advice of irritable old men at gay pride parades.



We must distinguish the Irish from Irish terrorism

(03/23/16 4:48am)

Well, here we go again: another sectarian terrorist attack, another spate of nativist prejudice flaring up across the national discourse. As a small group of extremist terrorists once more encourage the misrepresentation of a diverse and peaceful group, the point must once more be made loudly and clearly: the Irish are not all terrorists.



On queueing

(02/24/16 7:18am)

There is a menace pervasive at this University that goes always unspoken of. It is a treachery I noticed as soon as I arrived at this institution – but I did nothing to address it. Now that I am in my senior year and not muchlong on campus, I can keep my silence no longer. Students of Duke, I beseech thee: you need to stop cutting in line.


The Chronicle should really start using the singular 'they'

(02/10/16 5:41am)

Now let me say immediately that I already know what your first reaction to the above title is, typical Chronicle commenter! You’re thinking “here goes this beta-male again with that oversensitive, safe-space-seeking, bedwetting, lib-tard political correctness so typical of Duke’s cry-baby culture.” You may also have followed that thought up by quoting a passage from the Constitution.


Why is Duke taking workers’ tips away?

(01/27/16 7:14am)

Last semester I was chatting with a merchants-on-points delivery guy who lamented to me that, apparently, Duke was taking 18 percent of all tips he got doing deliveries to Duke. At the time, I was writing the “Monday, Monday” column and didn’t want to accidentally blow my cover by emailing around for information on the matter so I opted to pass on the story until I was free from my anonymous binds. But now here I stand once more—named, visible and fully accountable for every poor joke and misreported fact I type.




Game of [whatever those swingy bench things on the BC Plaza are called]

(03/25/15 8:36am)

As everyone surely already knows, the fifth season of Game of [whatever those swingy bench things on the BC Plaza are called] is returning to television in the coming weeks. We at The Chronicle wanted to get our readership pumped in anticipation—so we invited the author, Bron RR Mahertin, in to recap where we last left off in the "A Song of Black Ice and Fire Drills" series.


House of Duke cards

(02/25/15 10:29am)

I first met Duke Student Government President Magma Solder outside the UCAE, just before another meeting she had scheduled. The timing was not coincidental—she had suggested that for my first day on assignment tailing her, it would be the best introduction to immediately see her at work. “‘The stallion might be a pretty sight at rest,”’ she wrote to me in her email, “‘but it’s in full canter that you see what its really made of.”’