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Never Say Never

If the 3-D slow-motion hair flip didn’t make you swoon, then you’re probably not a 12-year-old girl. In which case, you probably shouldn’t bother seeing Justin Bieber’s new movie at all.

Never Say Never is a documentary-style film chronicling the life of the adolescent star from his early childhood to his, well, later childhood. Admittedly, the first 30 minutes of the documentary were much more interesting than I had expected. Who knew that the young Bieber was actually talented? The home videos inserted into the beginning of the film depicts the adorable blonde two-year-old drumming and playing the guitar like a true prodigy. The subsequent interviews of Bieber’s family and friends are also surprisingly heartfelt and endearing. I’ll confess that I even started to think that this film would make me a Belieber after all.

After the tenth concert clip of Bieber winking and shaking his hips and flipping his girlish hair—all in 3-D—I was bored. While the tweens watching the movie squealed and burst into tears each time Bieber smiled, I felt no such rapture. Instead, I spent my time looking at my watch and wondering when he was going to sing “Baby.” Even the on-screen appearances of Usher, Ludacris, Miley Cyrus and Jaden Smith could not shake me out of my stupor. By the end of the film, I decided I would be perfectly happy if I never had to hear another Justin Bieber song ever again.

Will this film give you Bieber fever? Probably not. Will Never Say Never appeal to a wider audience than just middle school girls? I’d say never.