A tradition unlike any other

A few weekends ago, I was speaking with an alumnus of my fraternity who graduated in 1991. I grilled him for at least two hours on different traditions he had “back then.” I was trying to hear stories about some of the things he can distinctly remember. Most of his stories were not of epic one-night stands or drunken shenanigans, but of activities he looked forward to every week. The idea of keeping simple, sustained traditions alive was reinforced last weekend when I returned to my summer camp for our yearly tradition of a campfire reunion, which turned out to be a night of the counselors sharing an awesome plethora of stories about former campers or events from previous reunions. This has made me think about the traditions I have been part of during my time at Duke. If someone asked you what your traditions were at Duke, how would you answer?

I have the luxury of having multiple friend groups, each with eclectic traditions of their own, but the biggest set of traditions comes from my fraternity. When I joined, my friends and family were shocked, as I enjoy beer and section parties about as much as Larry Moneta enjoys Tailgate. Being in a frat isn’t about having a specific type of beer you drink or recurring party themes (or writing misogynistic e-mails), but rather it’s the sense of having someone with whom you can tell stories and make jokes. I have more inside jokes with my frat brothers than obscure cultural references. These stories and jokes aren’t unique by any means, but the people that I share them with are. Any activity can become a tradition when you share it with all your friends.

The act of creating traditions with friends is not limited to fraternities, but rather a process that begins freshman year. My 2011 Jarvis-ites and I have a tradition of going out to eat every Friday at seven somewhere within 30 minutes of Campus, affectionately referred to as FNDs. When it first started, we went somewhere close, ate and tried to get back as quickly as possible. Now that we are seniors, we consistently take two or more hours to eat, or dine as we now call it. Why does it take longer now than it did three years ago? Because now every time we go out we rehash everything that has happened over the past three years worth of dinners and other epic events. This is how stories of confusion between ranch dressing and clam chowder can go from being stupid to hilarious simply by being talked about (I’ve found the logic behind Justin Beiber!). As our traditions are much like those of my fraternity, a new “significant other” must eat out with us to be initiated into our friend group. The fact that we’ve gone to every restaurant this side of 15-501 is irrelevant, but the concept of creating stories by consistently telling stories is important.

This year, as I have the luxury of being old, I’ve made my groups and started to weld all of them together so I’m not alienating anyone. I’ve started inviting frat members to FNDs and I have a FND friend who lives in section as my “G.D.I.” roommate. I’m not saying that you should try to make a tradition yourself and try to fit a round peg into a triangular hole, just let it happen naturally. That being said, if someone wants to start a tradition, you shouldn’t go crimping their style; just go with it as it’s all about the company—everyone’s style will be crimped together. The more the merrier, as they say.

In 30 years, when you look back on college, what will you remember? I can almost guarantee you that in 30 years, I will not remember the score of the national championship game, but I’ll remember who was with me when we won. I’m not going to remember how good the food was at the WaDuke (it’s overrated), but I’ll remember going at the end of the semester to waste food points. I’m not going to remember which restaurants we went to, but I’ll remember the FNDs that allowed my friends to cement their faces into my memory.

Now if only I can remember some of their names…

Jeremy Steinman is a Trinity Senior. His column runs every other Thursday.