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Trending: Flu Shots

FLU SHOTS

Flu season fast approaches. Contagion reminds us of our inherently social nature and opens us to the suffering of others through viral transmission. To combat this shall we say undesired contagion, we go to the doctor, the CVS or student health for an injection. It’s all in the name of good health!

‘YOUTH’ BAND-AIDS

Let’s be honest about this: So-called “flesh-toned” band-aids are absolutely racist and do nothing for anyone’s complexion. Go young, go Scooby Doo, go Sesame Street or go neon. It doesn’t matter. Make it fun. And make it Band-Aid brand, please— better stickiness.

SAFETY POPS

Remember being a child and getting a lollipop from the doctor with a looped handle to prevent swallowing a breathing obstacle? Stick one of these suckers in your mouth and the pain from that shot is as good as gone. And even if you forget your flu shot, a visit to the local Wachovia should help you get your fix.

HIGH FEVERS

Trendy does not necessitate a positive connotation. High fevers abound, sore throats plague the population like the Black Fever once did. No not all trends are good—remember boot cut jeans?—but that doesn’t mean we can resist them.

SOUP

Chicken noodle soup is the classic option, but why not think outside of it? Soy chicken noodle soup, perhaps? Yum. Just avoid the dairy—that’s never good for any ill-stricken throat.

NAPS

Sometimes, flu shots fail. Soup doesn’t do the trick. And sugar doesn’t make us feel better. Pass out, let the mind slip away, and the pain will be gone. At least until you wake up…

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