I don’t work anymore, I haven’t seen at least half of my school books since I bought them and people now laugh hysterically at the idea that I’m actually able to grow facial hair.
I would like to share with you how my life took such a turn.
I used to be a smart, capable, gorgeous young man, and now instead, I am a tired, paranoid, gorgeous young man.
I don’t know what happened. And it’s not only me, I swear! I have friends who have fallen ill to this plague of inertia, who spend hours picking at their toe nails instead of writing a paper, or who look up the etymology of slang words for “poop” instead of reading Descartes—which, honestly, is kind of the same thing. That’s real talk.
But then there are others who seem to be conquering global hunger, while at the same time planting a rose garden for the homeless. All of this AND turning in their math homework on time. How do they do it? HOW?
They stay up all night in the library, and work until the sun rises, their fingers moving like electricity across their keyboards. They’re like Adderall vampires. Try telling me vampires don’t exist when it’s YOU walking back from Perkins at 4 a.m. The Main Quad gets dark, and I can’t see! And then I start hearing footsteps, and I get into Buffy-mode, which basically consists of me running really hard and fast, tripping over the root of some big tree and then looking around for my glasses because they have fallen off. It’s a fairly pathetic scene, I realize, but all of this is to prove that it’s not that I don’t want to go to the library, it’s just that I don’t want to get attacked.
But I digress.
In a 2007 posting on The New York Times “The Graduates” blog, Dillard University student Amber Wilson discussed the phenomena of senioritis, and why it should be suppressed at all costs: “I have not let senioritis completely take over my semester, because I know that I have other responsibilities and obligations to tend to…. It’s fine to have fun, but I know that I still must wake up at 8:30 a.m. to get ready for my 9:30 class. I know that I still must attend each of my community service activities in order to obtain all my service hours. I must complete my senior portfolio and still write clips for the newspaper—all so that I can graduate.”
Boooorrring.
In a 2006 posting on The New York Times “Domestic Disturbances” blog, however, columnist Judith Warner said, “I think that there may be a real adaptive purpose to ‘senioritis.’ It may (like sleep) be a necessary physical response to the years—Two? Four? Fourteen?—of personal resume-building… it may, in fact, be a stress-reduction valve that we turn off only at great risk.”
Judith can stay.
But let’s get real, unless you want to spend the rest of your life working at some fast food chain, it would be in your best interest to take the advice of Wilson, and not so much the rather naive, albeit sympathetic, perspective of Warner. I don’t care how many vampires you send after me, I find it hard to believe that “senioritis” is a biological response to stress. Rashes are a biological response to stress. Dry throat is a biological response to stress. Watching “Glee” with a bag of Kettle Chips on your lap is not.
So what have I been doing with my spare time? Well, I’ve watched all of David Lynch’s films. I’ve gone through a few short story collections, as well as a memoir or two. This weekend, I even spent my night with new friends looking at the stars—no joke. And even though none of these activities count towards my general requirements (though I may consider petitioning star-gazing), I can’t really say I feel any guilt or regret. Maybe senioritis isn’t so much a rejection of all things academic, but instead, an acknowledgment of a greater existence—of a world outside of required reading and endless essays. Academia is great, but so is exploration. You may think once you leave college you’ll be free, but in reality, you’ll be less free than you have ever been. Jobs, deadlines, bills.
Don’t abandon your work, fight the good fight, but remember to not neglect yourself, either. Growth is what college is all about, and I promise, it can be found outside the pages of your textbook.
Thomas Gebremedhin is a Trinity senior. His column runs every other Thursday.
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