VH1 has cornered the market on reality television. With shows like Rock the Bus, Sober House and Confessions of a Teenage Idol, they have made it difficult for other channels to compete. Genius has come out of their creative department the likes of which reality TV has never seen. The problem with being on the top is there is no where to go except down. What could VH1 possibly air next season that would even compare to the "immaculates" (I heard TI say this once) of the first season? Well, here are a number of ideas.
1. Ignition: A bus follows R. Kelly across the country filled with underage girls vying for their chance to be peed on. The second season will be called the Ignition Remix.
2. Who Wants to be Adopted?: Brad and Angelina go shopping for a little African orphan. Watch as the impoverished compete to be the next celebrity pet.
3. Bi-Curious: We follow the likes of Tila Tequila, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton and Jessica Biel as they sexually flip-flop in hopes of resurrecting their careers. It's only a matter of time, Jessica.
4. Confessions of a Sexaholic with David Duchovny: Follow him around as he gets HJs, BJs and ZJs (if you don't know, you can't afford it).
5. Juicy House: In the spirit of the devil incarnate, JuicyCampus, we lock 15 people in a house and allow viewers to anonymously gossip about the contestants. Their comments are displayed 24 hours a day on a massive screen in the house. Who doesn't like to watch other people's insecurities and comment on them? Estimated number of suicides: 4.
6. Brobama: Barack has become lonely after leaving all his friends for the White House. Here, a token block guy, a gay guy, a transgendered, a southerner and a rich Republican all compete to be his new best friend. There will be tears, laughs and lots of "hugging-it-out."
7. Love Boat: A washed up Bret Michaels can only find work on cruise ships. Watch as 20 strippers, mothers and stripping mothers fight it out on board the MV Love Boat.
8. Celebrity Wife Swap: Episode one: Ellen Degeneres and Porsche de Rossi swap with Seal and Heidi Klum. We'll only follow the de Rossi/Klum plot line. Use your imagination, lord knows I am.
9. Celebrity Plastic Surgery: We fix Owen Wilson's nose and give Kate Hudson breast implants. Everyone has their imperfections.
10. Actors Rush: Unbeknownst to most, actors compete for three weeks to see who gets a bid to the Screen Actors Guild. Watch as up and comers take beers vertical and slay box all hoping for that illustrious bid.
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