Let's play a quick memory game:
When did Britney Spears shave her head?
Feels like forever ago, doesn't it?
Actually, it happened earlier this year. February 17th to be precise.
So much has happened, in fact, that it's hard to keep track of even all the great Duke sports moments of 2007. As we near 2008 then, it's time to look back and give props to the people who made headlines (for good or bad) in each month of this memorable year:
January: I salute you, Mr. Cameron Indoor clock manager! Although Jon Scheyer had the official assist on Dave McClure's buzzer-beating layup against Clemson, everyone knows who the dime on that play really belonged to. With your magical fingers, you compressed the Tigers' game-tying three-pointer into just 0.6 seconds of game time.
February: I salute you, Duke men's lacrosse team! You resumed play with a 17-11 pounding of Dartmouth. And there was much rejoicing.
March: I salute you, Lindsey Harding! Not only did you brick two free throws with 0.1 seconds remaining in a one-point Sweet 16 game, but you were also responsible for the entire Imus imbroglio. Think about it for a second-if you had made those shots from the charity stripe, Rutgers would have been eliminated, and Imus would never have made those comments, sparing us from months and months of coverage of a completely inane story.
April: I salute you, the Lovely Ladies of Duke! The self-proclaimed three hottest girls at Duke-"there's not a huge selection"-politely reminded us in a CSTV Hoops Odyssey video that when you're a "VIP" in the "family," you don't "camp out like refugees" for seats. But remember, any type of hookup within the family is "incest"-unless of course it's with Josh McRoberts, who never was in the "family" to begin with.
May: I salute you, NCAA! After the Duke men's lacrosse team failed to get the storybook ending Hollywood needed, you granted the players an extra year of eligibility to try and get it right.
June: I salute you, Billy King! As the GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, you used your final pick in the first round of the NBA draft to take Finnish guard Petteri Koponen-passing up on fellow Dukie Josh McRoberts and completing his free fall from lottery millions to an unguaranteed second round contract. Although schadenfreude was never sweeter, your decision did deny Duke fans the pleasure of seeing McRoberts and Shavlik Randolph sitting on the same bench.
July: I salute you, Lauren Conrad! Gossip blogs were abuzz with photographs of you and a beaming Josh McRoberts-looking like a giant 10-year old in a backward baseball cap-getting into a taxi cab after a date in L.A. Unfortunately for Josh, he was one-and-done after you deemed him "immature." And who said The Hills isn't real?
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August: I salute you, fifth-year lacrosse seniors! You announced your intentions to return to Duke for an unprecedented extra season, prompting Duke to contemplate renaming the team the "Van Wilders."
September: I salute you, Duke football! You won! And there was too much rejoicing.
October: I salute you Duke women's golf team! Nothing noteworthy happened this month, so it's worth using this space to congratulate you on your three-peat. Rumor has it that every golfer on the squad has been certified in the Heimlich maneuver in order to avoid the choking epidemic that runs rampant in Duke's other varsity sports.
November: I salute you, Eron Riley! As Duke's best offensive weapon, you "supermanned" into the end zone after a long touchdown pass against Clemson. Well worth the fifteen yard penalty and the sole bright spot in a game that featured the defining sequence of Duke football in 2007: Clemson scoring a touchdown, a safety and a return touchdown in 39 seconds. Take that, Mr. Cameron Indoor clock manager!
December: I salute you, Coach K! Not only are the Blue Devils fun to watch this year, but you managed to stun the 349 people who get ESPNU by laughing your way through an infomercial endorsement for a Steve Nash instructional DVD. Can an appearance on a "Head On" commercial be far away?
I apologize in advance for any omissions (I'm sure there are a few), and here's to another crazy year in 2008!