Questions for Miers

Harriet Miers must feel incredibly empowered. Before she even said a word, both liberals and conservatives found themselves floundering at the size-six shoes of another stealth Supreme Court nominee. The Democrats' leader in the Senate, Harry Reid, called Miers "very personable" and "a very fine lawyer," while Republican Senate Majority Leader Frist's effusive endorsement clashed with conservative editor Bill Kristol's lamentations that he was "demoralized" by Bush's "weakness" for not choosing a candidate more in the conservative mold of Scalia or Thomas.

In other words, time plus two days after the Miers nomination feels a lot like the first days after the feel-good Roberts emerged two months ago. And if this similarity is any indication of how the next eight weeks will unfold before Miers comes up for a full Senate vote, then we're in for a yawn.

Unfortunately, I fear this time around will have the feel of dejA  vu all over again unless the Judiciary Committee comes up with some questions Miers may actually be willing to answer. Hey, if Mier's confirmation is all-but-certain (barring some major scandal), then we might as well make the process entertaining.

Question #1: Do you support making Supreme Court cases more entertaining for the public? I ask because the Court begins its new session with a doozy-Ana Nicole Smith's decade-long crusade to get her late (and very old) husband's fortune. Granted, the legal merits of the case are pretty mundane-what cases should federal courts take up-but it has the awesome potential of sending C-SPAN's ratings sky-high. It also carries with it the added bonus of keeping all you justices awake, kicking and motivated to render intelligent, thought-provoking decisions in the future. Frankly, the last few have been snoozers. Wouldn't you agree?

Question #2: Do you believe that a dog is a man's best friend? The president, with whom you seem to have an unflinching loyalty, has described you as a pit bull. We all know about the president's fondness for dogs, and his premium on loyalty among friends. Are you the ultimate combination-a loyal canine in human form? (Be careful now, as tempting as a "yes" might be, some could use such a response as evidence of cronyism playing a role in your nomination. Though a "no" would insult the president.)

Question #3: On a more serious note, are you a little man conservative or a little government conservative? I ask because, as I'm sure you are aware, the Supreme Court recently ruled in Kelo v. New London that the town of New London, Conn., could expropriate non-blighted private property for private development, a questionable use of the government's power of eminent domain. Interestingly, the so-called liberals on the bench sided with the town, while Scalia, Thomas, O'Connor and Rehnquist supported the little guys. But aren't conservatives for local rights and local decision-making? What is a conservative, anyway? You'd help everyone out by explaining that one in today's political jumble.

It would also be nice to hear how your views on property rights jive with free music downloading those clever kids keep taking advantage of. If it helps to know, you'll be real popular with the Gen Y's if you fudge the property rights issue just this one time.

Question #4: Who frightens you more, David Souter or Antonin Scalia? Souter has a calm, deliberative demeanor that sometimes conceals the liberal disease he caught somewhere along the way. I'm sure you've heard that your steeliness as a conservative is in question, and hanging around Souter could be dangerous. It's not so bad to switch parties once, as you did, but to go from Democrat to Republican and then back to Democrat again makes categorizing you really difficult.

On the other hand, Scalia has that foaming-at-the-mouth, hell-hath-no-fury-like-an-Evangelical-on-a-rampage rabidness that could raise fears of intra-court cannibalism to someone not accustomed to such a strong personality. You also have to watch out for Scalia's opposition to encoding women's rights into law, a position he defends precisely because a majority of Americans supports such a movement. In cases like these, you'll have to dig deep to reconcile your inner woman and your inner conservative.

In any event, soon-to-be Judge Miers, I hope we can count on your answers to these innocuous questions. We don't know anything about your judicial philosophy, why we should consider you qualified to serve on the highest court in the land or how your loyalty to the president may shape your career on the court. Why not at least tell us whose dog you are?

Jared Fish is a Trinity senior. His column runs every other Thursday.

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