It has taken all year, but I've finally come to terms with it: I suck as a college music critic. I'm not out discovering new indie bands, picking up CDs at Radio Free Records or attending shows at Cat's Cradle. I admit it-I'm a mainstream music junkie. I listen to G105 in the shower and review the artists that practically everyone has already heard about.
So, in coming out of the commercial pop closet, I present my "best of" list-actually, the "worst of"-the worst pop singles of last year. And for extra kicks, the top five most annoyingly-catchy hits-the ones too ubiquitous to avoid or get out of your head.
WORST:
- "Breathless" - the Corrs
Go on-please tell me you also hated this song. Too syrupy even for pop-friendly ears.
- "Gotta Tell You" - Samantha Mumba
Your basic, formulaic girl teen-pop tune-but her voice sounded like Britney getting her stomach pumped. Nails on a chalkboard, people.
- "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" - Nine Days
(Sing to the tune of the chorus)
This is the story of a song / whose title's random and way too long / and every time it plays on the radio / I absolutely hate it-will not smile...
- "I Did It" - Dave Matthews Band
Contrary to the prevailing sentiment at Recess, I liked the Dave Matthews Band. Until this song. Did I think he went to far? Down the radio/sellout route? Definitely.
- "With Arms Wide Open" - Creed
Memo to Creed: The year is 2001. The Seattle sound was a decade ago. It is no longer cool to sound like a hybrid of Eddie Vedder, Scott Weiland and Chris Cornell. And the manufactured passion of violins and hard guitar chords may have worked for Damn Yankees, but that was a pop music mistake. A big, big mistake.
MOST ANNOYINGLY CATCHY:
- "He Loves U Not" - Dream
Let's be honest. This over-produced "Puffy goes Pop" wonder was a song you loved to hate-until you couldn't get it out of your head. I don't even care about the random guitar part in the middle-it's all about the shower singability of the chorus.
- "I'm Like A Bird" - Nelly Furtado
This year's Natalie Imbruglia whines with an Ani-esque warble, and yet, her voice is weird in a compelling kind of way. I'd bet the rest of my FLEX on one-hit-wonder status.
- "E.I." - Nelly
It's a controversial pick, but it's just too reminiscent of "Old McDonald had a farm" to not make the list.
- "Ms. Jackson" - Outkast
Absolutely nothing but love for Outkast, but I heard this song literally 400 times a day all semester. It's a great song, but like many great songs, it just got too played out. I am for re-eal.
- "It Wasn't Me" - Shaggy
If you ever get accused of getting that song stuck in someone's head, just say it wasn't you. Otherwise, expect a severe beat-down.
And I'm out. Back to Best Buy and the radio.
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