Fierce competition for the coveted tent one slot reached new heights Wednesday when several pre-adolescents set up tarps for the 2008 Carolina game.
Although Dook Student Government by-laws allow only a 10-day tenting period, the nine-year line-up is not technically a violation provided the children do not pitch tents between now and the start of official tenting, said head line monitor "Weird" Al Brisket.
But a snag in the initial planning occurred when Brisket refused to grant grace periods for "naptimes." A compromise was later reached during a post-bedtime meeting between Brisket and the students' parents.
When asked why they did not meet personally with Brisket, the tarpers replied in unison, "He scared me."
Although these precocious tykes are only 10 years old, they have already managed to finagle admission offers from Dook-"One of America's premier research institutions."
Director of Admittance Christopher Guttenmorgen insisted the decision to grant the applicants admission a decade early was in no way due to their parents' large bank accounts.
"We saw a great deal of scholastic and leadership achievements in these terrific kids," he said. "Once we saw their spelling test scores, we had to have them." Guttenmorgen denied that he may have been swayed by the students' personal relationship to President Nann Kohan.
"Mommy said it's because I'm smart," said 4th-grader Cindy Kohan.
Several members of Sigma Aota Eta fraternity officially welcomed the 4th-graders to campus Wednesday night with three bottles of vodka and a stash of pot.
"It's time those scamps became real K-ville residents," explained the organization's president. "I'm totally stoked. There is finally a group of students young and impressionable enough to believe that we're a respectable campus organization."
The students are also considering joining a number of campus organizations. One student, Sue Perficial, has become the youngest member of the greek system by joining Try Delt. Another 10-year old attempted to join Dook Student "Government," but was told he was too mature.
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