I am a student and I heartily agree with what you have to say about this year's line monitor policy. It's so full of loopholes, and graft and corruption, that it's like our own political micro-wannabe-Washington here at the University.
I would therefore like to suggest a complete overhaul according to my new system, the "Campbell's Hardcore Universal Measurement Plan," or CHUMP. Under this plan, we would compile a list of 120 obscure, arcane trivia questions with vague connections to Duke Basketball. For example: "What pressure is a Duke Basketball inflated to? Please answer in kilo-pounds per square cubit," and "Which players have birthmarks normally covered by their jerseys? Please illustrate the shape and location. Points will be taken off just because you can't draw worth crap," and "How many swallows does it take to lift a basketball? You may express your answer in terms of African or European birds."
Then we would move on to the essay section, with riveting questions such as, "If Coach K came up against Yoda in a game of one-on-one, with whom would Luke side, and why?" It's bound to be a favorite part of the exam.
The best part of this is that you'd only need to take the test once, and then your score would designate your place in the line to get into Cameron forever.
No retests. No second chances. If you blow it freshman year, tough nookies. This way, we'll spend a lot more time in our rooms studying for classes instead of being forced to be in K-ville partying. Because I know how much those people who jumped in line early would have rather been studying during Thanksgiving than hanging out in front of Cameron.
Patrick Campbell
Engineering '00
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