Prepare to be schooled on the Counting Crows

Okay, class, sit down. Welcome to Pretty Damn Near Amazing Lit 101. Hey, you in the back, what's that in your hand, Wordsworth? Put that down. Today we're going to study the works of Counting Crows, as published in the group's first volume, August and Everything After. You will not want to drop this class after you hear these guys.

But first, a little history: Counting Crows were born and raised in San Francisco. The band is made up of five men, although it sounds more like 15 men because everyone plays, like, three or four instruments apiece. This band is a lot more than drum-kit-and-guitars. The piano, B-3 organ, accordion, harmonica, pedal steel guitar and chamberlain-- extra credit to those who know what that is-- are also used. The result is a remarkably full, almost Gaelic sound, set to a terrifically tight percussion that dishes out great folk rock beats. To give you some perspective, Counting Crows conjure up comparisons to classic R.E.M., or the very best of Van Morrison, or Sting, but only when he's having a really good day, after he's had a nice nap and some warm cake and milk and has just listened to some classic R.E.M. and the very best of Van Morrison. That type of Sting.

Now, if you would all please open your liner notes to the very beginning, I'd like to draw your attention to some of the better lyrical passages on this record. Okay, see that first line of the first song, "Round Here?" Here, I'll read it to you: "Step out of the front door like a ghost into the fog where no one notices the contrast of white on white." Yes, if you all could just highlight that line and... well, just keep going till the ink runs dry. See, that's poetry. That's not just I-feel-sad-The-weather-is-bad-All-I-can-say-is-that-my-life-is-pretty-plain crap. Rhyming means nothing to these guys, and it doesn't have to when you've got lines like "Round here we talk just like lions but we sacrifice like lambs."

Adam Duritz, the band's lead singer-songwriter, isn't afraid to use those conventions of prose writing that make for song lyrics that are more difficult to write but infinitely more intriguing to listen to, like third-person narrative and proper names (as opposed to just "you") and direct quotes (as opposed to paraphrasing.) Best of all, the lyrics aren't imbued with some structured, punctuated rhythm that merely carbon copies the rhythm of the instruments. This would be where the genius of Duritz's voice enters.

This guy is not lead singer just because he can't play a lick of guitar but his friends couldn't bring themselves to kick him out of the band. If anything, the band is just there to keep a leash on Duritz's voice box. I don't think I have ever heard lyrics imbibed with so much melody of their own. You could pop this tape into your Walkman and cover the right earphone so you just hear Duritz's voice and not feel like you're missing out on anything. The Hallmark-card side of me wants to compare his vocals to a babbling brook, except with more direction and less pollution.

Special attention must be paid to the song "Mr. Jones" before it becomes nothing more than the next Buzz Bin has-been that nobody can stand anymore (like "No Rain"). Actually, "No Rain" is a good comparison for this single. Both songs are about that slacker lifestyle, hollow-empty feeling that all those 45 year-olds say is what's wrong with us 20 year-olds. But here's a little pop quiz: which of these lyrics don't belong? A) "Gray is my favorite color, I felt so symbolic yesterday. If I knew Picasso, I would buy myself a gray guitar and play." B) "When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me." C) "Mr. Jones and me tell each other fairy tales, and we stare at the beautifulwomen, 'She's looking at you. Ah, no, no, she's looking at me.'" D) "And all I can do is just pour some tea for two and speak my point of view."

Okay class, we're out of time, but before we go, I just thought I'd mention to all you non-believers that Counting Crows was named Best New Band and Adam Duritz Best New Male Singer in Rolling Stone's critics' poll. Your homework for tomorrow is to buy the album, then go home and write 100 times, "Counting Crows lives up to its hype. August and Everything After does not disappoint." Believe me, you'll thank me for this some day.