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Friday Friday

Friday Friday is Monday Monday’s off-brand satirical cousin. Look out for Friday Friday on Tinder, and Friday Friday would like it to be known that they are available for frat rush date functions. 


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OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Students storm BC Plaza to protest noods

The student group, dressed in bright orange and carrying posters with phrases such as, “Use your noodle: get us the mac we deserve” and “It’s not too cheesy: we want mac,” stood in the center of the plaza where they protested for 15 minutes before leaving to make their 1:25 classes.


OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Amnesty day begs the question: What the fork?

Duke Dining explained that students probably didn’t mean to take the forks, it was just another instance of highly-motivated, engaged Duke students being too lazy to carry their fork back inside after pushing through the ridiculously heavy doors of the West Campus dining hall.


OPINION  |  COLUMNS

Duke basketball commits reveal love of landscaping

The Chronicle got the inside scoop on these massively athletic 17 year olds’ decisions to play for Duke. Turns out, the factor that sealed the deal is surprisingly obvious. When asked why he chose Duke, Williamson answered, “Oh easy. The grass. The impeccably kept lawn.”


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