Stress tests
(09/29/14 8:05am)
What’s good, freaks and geeks?
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What’s good, freaks and geeks?
What’s up, basics?
Bonjour mes amis,
Greetings tramps,
After several failed attempts this weekend to up my swag and become this campus’s second “Karen Owen,” I have realized that the problem isn’t me, it’s you...and the fact that Duke athletes aren’t as fun as they used to be. Everyone knows that the only true sign of a successful night out is waking up the next day and being able to say, “I woke up like this” completely ironically and flawlessly.
Cheers to FDOC, plebeians.
Listen up, peasants. I am your Guardian Devil for the semester. Because Duke is currently undergoing what I can only call “campus botox” Joan Rivers style, the higher-ups have asked me to guide you through these trying times while they figure out how to best shut down East Campus without anyone noticing. For the next semester, I will be providing you with unsolicited guidance for your totally cool and awesome (read: sad and pathetic) lives.
Hello. My name is Sam Kebede, and I am Monday, Monday.
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Blue Devil Nation,
Dearest Duke,
Just in case coming back from Thanksgiving to finals wasn’t enough, you will be happy to know construction is taking the Bryan Center Plaza away for two years. Luckily, Duke was kind enough to wait until we were all gone before instating a slat of plywood more fearsome than the Berlin Wall to separate us from our favorite place to chill and eat by those misters that make the Plaza feel like Jurassic Park.
With a stellar football season and this weekend’s Wake Forest comeback win, it’s finally official. Duke is now kind of big deal. With the new additions of Jahlil Okafor, Tyus Jones and Justise Winslow to our team already boasting Rasheed Sulaimon, Rodney Hood and Jabari Parker, it is evident that Duke is well on its way to becoming a school centered around football. As Duke leaped from being worst in ACC football to having a winning record, one thing is clear: Duke football can now do more point-worthy things than the other team, most of the time. As a result, more students are coming to games, and Wallace Wade finally has more Duke fans than the away team. With all these changes happening, what does this new football culture bring for Duke?