Stupid carbon rod
(04/22/05 4:00am)
It’s all just a popularity contest.
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It’s all just a popularity contest.
I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my own mortality.—Mitch Hedberg
It’s funny, ‘cause it’s bigger than a normal hat.
Give the governor a harrumph.
This is bowling. There are rules.
Why are you talking that way? E
What follows is a very simple, straightforward list of the things that I would like to see happen during my last semester at Duke.
Before I begin, allow me to say a few words about the election. AGH. AGH. AGH. Did a majority of this country just miss the last four years? Are we not thinking? Does anyone realize the consequences of this? President George W. Bush is now going to think that the country has written him a blank check to do whatever he wants. He didn’t listen to reason and logic before, when he wasn’t elected. Now there is no stopping him.
So I used to open my eyes in the middle of the night freshman year because my roommate was playing “The Price is Right” theme song on his computer just to keep me awake. And I couldn’t help but laugh, because it happened more than once and it was ridiculous and everything was funny. And he laughed when I hung all of his clothes in the hallway and swore that I didn’t have anything to do with it when our RA walked out of his room and saw me doing it.
When I think of everything that has made me happy in the last three and a half years, several things stand out in my mind. Family Guy on DVD. Reading Catch-22 for the fourth time. The “Bushisms” poster I bought in London that was a constant reminder that Americans were (and still are) represented abroad by someone who cannot speak English and is therefore fluent in exactly zero languages. But the best thing, hands down, has been the fantastic and gradual manner in which underage drinking has been removed from this campus.
What happened to the benches at the bus stop on main West? Undergraduates, graduates and visiting professors who aren’t given a parking space on West and random visiting high school students and their families who are savvy enough to figure out the complex transportation system now have to stand and wait for a bus. On what will the protesters under white sheets protest? Have the benches gone the route of the Hideaway and the Oak Room, disappearing into obscurity and leaving behind only a vague sense among the older students of “hey, what happened?”
Welcome (back) to Duke. For those of you new to campus, here’s a tip that might help you in the years to come: either you or someone you know is going to be attacked, mugged, assaulted, raped, swindled, hoodwinked or bamboozled while you’re on campus. It’s going to happen. Crime happens, especially at a place with kids as rich, young, naïve and new to city life as at Duke.
Ah, the lazy summer months. As soon as school lets out, we finally get the opportunity to do all the playing in the mud of which we could only dream while entrenched in heavy-duty, quintuple-ply coursework. Games of tackle football in the backyard, street hockey on cracked pavement, Nintendo, water sprinklers and freezy pops. A complete end to responsibility. I've got my bicycle and my friends from down the street have theirs, and someday we're going to ride down to the boatyard and go to that candy store that sells Tootsie Rolls for a penny and Airheads for a dime.