Proud Parents Against Singles, Seniors...
So I said, “Supercollider? I just met her.” Oh, hi. I didn’t see you there. This column takes its title from an episode of hit Fox sitcom The Simpsons. In the episode, thousands of babies riot because a concert featuring a popular baby-oriented singer/songwriter/performer is cancelled due to inclement weather (it is exactly as funny as it sounds) and the townspeople of Springfield, the fictional non-state city in which The Simpsons takes place, have to foot the $1 million bill that results from the ensuing damage. This inspires the creation of SSCCATAGAPP (Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays Against Parasitic Parents), a group dedicated to the intolerance of children. “Children are the future, today belongs to me,” they would say. Through the righteous crusade of SSCCATAGAPP, the town becomes a veritable utopia where the families have to conform to fit into society and not the other way round. This disturbance in the force caused by SSCCATAGAPP’s floccinaucinihilipilification of the rights of children and families is finally rectified in the end by matriarch Marge Simpson’s counter group PPASSCCATAG (three guesses what that stands for) and normalcy is returned.