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Bottled Up

(04/23/10 8:00am)

"Damages were less serious at Armadillo Grill. One chair was broken, a glass of beer was thrown at the ceiling and there was ‘more trash than you can imagine,’ Assistant Manager Sam Sills said. He said the glass of beer shattered on impact, causing shards of glass to fall on the crowd of students, but no one was hurt.”— “Celebration leaves eateries damaged” in The Chronicle, April 7, 2010.

The Popular Vote

(03/17/10 8:00am)

The Duke Student Government subcommittee on electoral reform met last night to discuss possible alternative methods for electing the next DSG president. Citing the success of the reformed Young Trustee selection process, a panel made up of members of the subcommittee presented the findings of their week-long research.


(02/10/10 11:44pm)

You wake up with a jolt—it takes you a few moments to recognize your room from the floor. Your headache is paralyzing, as if the vice of a wrathful, moral god is cranking down on your cranium. With eyes half open, you grope your surroundings for your iPhone. Five unread texts, three e-mails and a voicemail from a cabbie you kept waiting. One of the texts is from you. “Brown hair, nice legs.” You don’t remember her or her nice legs or sending the text.

Social activity

(12/02/09 10:00am)

“Still many students said they thought it was an unwise decision to leave remnants from section parties and concerts to sit for 48 hours, given the general increase in social activity across campus on weekend nights.... Several housekeepers declined to comment on the change to the schedule.”—“Cleaning cuts draw complaints” in The Chronicle, Oct. 9, 2009.

The Realization That You Can Have Sex in the Stacks

(12/02/09 10:00am)

Your friends are out drinking, and you’ve just walked off the elevator on to the 4th floor of Perkins in pursuit of PS3527.A15 L6 1992 c.2. Off to your left are a few students with their heads buried in their books, and maybe even that girl you’ve always wanted to talk to but never have—her face framed in dirty blonde curls, one tanned leg tucked under the other, cozied and warmed by soft gray sweatpants. It’s quiet.  


(09/23/09 8:00am)

Every 14-year-old boy knows that Cinemax turns to “Skin-e-max” after 1 a.m., that most local police shifts end at 3 or 4, and that, well, sometimes, the best things in life aren’t on the menu. I don’t remember when I learned about The Bucket, but it wasn’t from my blurred vision desperately scanning the too-bright menu for something that appealed to my intoxicated stomach, nor was it from the peppy ads and their catchy, skatted melodies.

Excerpts From Litigation Against Shooters II

(09/23/09 8:00am)

“Some students predicted that they will keep the club packed and sweaty, if only for lack of a better option. George’s Garage—a restaurant that was once a popular venue for Greek crush parties and formals—closed its doors in July, further depleting students’ options for drinking and dancing in the wee hours of the morning.” —“Shooters Raises Fee” in The Chronicle, Aug. 25, 2009

Sure, Beach Week's a full year away.MYRTLE BEACH is worth the wait. Apparently.

(07/01/09 7:00am)

A mere seven purgatorial miles in to South Carolina lies a town that God either forgot about or gave up on. I don't mean to belittle the weekly worship of the loyal churchgoers of North Myrtle Beach (and I've met a few, including the apparently not-so-literal Barefoot Community Church), but let's just say sinning never felt so right as it does on South Ocean Boulevard.


(03/26/09 7:00am)

MSTRKRFT (pronounced Master Kraft) returns with the high-powered and relentless Fist of God. Following their 2006 release The Looks, members Al-P and Jesse Keeler deliver non-stop synths, producing a harder sound even more tailor-made for a drunken dance floor. Tracks like "It Ain't Love," "1000 Cigarettes" and "Click Click" shine as examples of a newfound intensity, with a devout bass synth on every beat and frenzied electronica coming in from all sides. But what makes these songs stand out in the sea of Hype Machine remixes are the synthesizers that imitate distorted, finger-tapped guitars. It's like Metallica playing Guitar Hero at a rave.