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Duke students refuse to evacuate burning building, believing fire alarm to be tent check

The Chomicle

Firefighters had to rescue 22 Duke students from a burning building on Friday when the students simply refused to leave, referring to the fire alarm as a “tent check.”

Around 3 a.m. Friday morning, a dorm in Few Quad caught on fire after a student yet again forgot to remove the dryer lint before drying their clothes.

While most students panicked and evacuated the building, others gathered in an orderly fashion in the Few HH second floor common room, lining up by room number. Despite the heat of the fire, the students were bundled in multiple layers of heavy jackets, pants and warm socks. 

One of the students who lined up, sophomore Fir Ealarm, said that she left her room immediately when she heard the alarm.

“But not to go outside,” she clarified. “It was a tent check, of course. The line monitors were trying to trick us with fire but it was really just another test to determine who the most dedicated tenters are.”

Ealarm said she had to rush so that she could show her DukeCard and quickly go back to sleep before a crowd formed around the line monitor. 

“I could recognize the tent check siren from a mile away,” she said. “I actually enjoy it. It keeps me focused on the end goal—high-fiving AJ Griffin's sweaty hand after the game.”

In related news, K-Ville will be expanded to accommodate the recently-made-homeless Few residents. Duke Housing and Residence Life announced the construction of 20 new tents for the 800 students previously living in the dorm. 

Students emailed Why Are We Getting Waitlisted for Housing Life to complain about having to squeeze so many people into the small tents. “This is all we can provide, sucks to suck,” WAWGWFHL wrote back.

Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day! In case you couldn't tell, this was a story for our satirical edition, The Chomicle. Check out more Chomicle stories here, guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back.

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