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Class of 2022 to receive diplomas as NFTs

The Chomicle

In a move designed to decrease paper consumption and “make Commencement more clout,” Duke will present the Class of 2022 with diplomas in the form of NFTs, the Office of the University Registrar told seniors on Friday. 

Seniors will be able to use a new DukeHub tab to access the cryptocurrency wallets holding their diplomas. Each diploma can be customized with one of 1,750 unique images of anthropomorphic animals, all made in Microsoft Paint by a four-year-old.

“We are always looking for ways to reduce our environmental footprint, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity,“ University Registrar Fred Blablah wrote in an email to seniors. “Plus, who doesn’t like having a fake online photo instead of a physical record of an accomplishment?”

Students have mixed feelings about the change. 

“This is so hype,” senior Nun Fungible said. “We’re taking Duke degrees to the moon.”

Fellow senior Boomer Enerji raised security concerns about the new diploma format.

“What happens if someone screenshots my diploma?” he said. “Can’t they just, like, get a job pretending to be me?”

Experts say the decision puts Duke at the cutting edge of Web 3.0. Other planned innovations include holding this year’s LDOC concert in the metaverse and replacing food points with a cryptocurrency called NuggetCoin. 

Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day! In case you couldn't tell, this was a story for our satirical edition, The Chomicle. Check out more Chomicle stories here, guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back.

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