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What Coach K(ringle) has been up to during quarantine

The Chomicle

Editor's Note - All articles featured in The Chomicle are creative, satirical and/or entirely fictional pieces. They are fully intended as such and should not be taken seriously as news.

Just what has men's basketball head coach Mike Kringle been up to during this pandemic?

Zoom practices with The Brotherhood 

Just because players are on lockdown doesn’t mean they get a break from practice.

“If classes can go online, then we can too,” Kringle said. 

Although players were mailed a mini-hoop to hang from the back of their bedroom doors, the transition to Zoom practices has presented some challenges along the way. Vernon Carey discovered the raising hand feature on Zoom and has consistently been getting into foul trouble during practice. 

Reportedly, former player Zion Chilliamson obtained the Zoom code and literally crashed the server, while Mike Luckmire is still waiting for Coach K to approve his request to join the Zoom. 

“I’m used to people forgetting about me,” Luckmire said.

Hitting up his exes 

Quarantine has left Coach Kringle lonely, often thinking about some of the better men of his past. He is currently going through a tough breakup with junior Alec O’Gonnell, who recently decided to leave Coach K for another team. 

“Yeah so, I was scrolling through Insta at 2 a.m. the other night, and I noticed Coach K slid into my DMs with a ‘hey, u up’ text,” O’Gonnell said. Apparently, he left the message on read but woke up to another message from Coach K the next day telling O’Gonnell he was so embarrassed and that he meant to send it to someone else.

Growing a quarantine beard

With no courtside appearance to keep up, Kringle has begun to cultivate a luscious, flowing beard. Although there's no telling how long it will last, the beard would come in handy as Kringle tries to deliver the ultimate present to the Blue Devil faithful next year.

Editor's Note: Happy April Fools' Day! In case you couldn't tell, this was a story for our satirical edition, The Chomicle. Check out more Chomicle stories here, guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back. 


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