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My most anticipated movies and TV shows of the year that I probably won’t watch

You know the feeling. You’re at the movies, probably watching the newest “Avengers” movie or something, and you see a kick-ass movie trailer. Turning to your friend excitedly, you exclaim (in a hushed voice, so as not to disturb the theater’s fellow patrons) that you really, really want to see that movie when it comes out. 

Then it comes out, and you don’t see it. Maybe you see it after it goes out on demand months later. Maybe you never see it at all.

This phenomenon happens to me constantly. My friends will ask, “Have you seen ‘Uncut Gems’ yet?” and I’ll say, “No, but I really, really want to.” And I do want to see it! But there’s school and Chronicle work, and I could just rewatch “Inception” on Netflix without having to pay $2.99 to rent it. I sincerely hope I watch “Uncut Gems,” along with “Little Women,” “Parasite” and the countless other movies on my list, but I probably won’t, at least not any time soon.

So without further ado, here are the movies and TV shows coming out in 2020 that I genuinely want to watch when they come out… but like won’t, because I know myself. 

“The King’s Man”

I really liked “Kingsman,” because I’m a sucker for sharp action-comedies. But I never saw the second “Kingsman” movie, even though I told so many people I wanted to see it. What makes me think I’m going to see “The King’s Man”? The movie, directed by Matthew Vaughn, looks like it’s following a similar formula to its British predecessors.

“Birds of Prey”

Margot Robbie? Ewan McGregor? An R-rated anti-hero flick? Sign me up. This movie follows Harley Quinn from 2016’s “Suicide Squad,” which — to put it nicely — was unoriginal and boring. Plus, I’ve seen quite a few superhero movies in my day, and I’m not invested in any of these characters, all of which are new to the franchise except for Quinn. 

“Sonic the Hedgehog”

Like “Cats,” I’m sure I’ll joke with friends that we should go see it for the meme and to laugh at how bad it is. Then I won’t actually go see it, because who’s trying to waste $12 and two hours to see a mediocre movie? And, if we’re being honest, now that the studio fixed Sonic after the infamous first trailer, I’m a lot less interested. 

“Top Gun: Maverick”

I saw “Top Gun” once with my mom. I enjoyed it, I think. It was a while ago. Sometimes I think to myself, tepidly, “Oh, I should rewatch ‘Top Gun.’” Then I rewatch clips of “The Dark Knight” on YouTube instead. I’m sure I’ll promise my mom that I’ll go watch this sequel with her, but it will take a big push to actually get me in front of a screen with 57-year-old scientologist Tom Cruise flying a jet.

“Curb your Enthusiasm,” Season 10 

Don’t get me wrong — I think Larry David is hilarious. I watched the ninth season of “Curb” two years ago, and a girl that I liked told me that I was beginning to talk like David. So it’s not that I don’t want to watch season 10, but my family deactivated our HBO account after the finale of “Game of Thrones,” and am I really going to buy a subscription just for this show? I’m pretty, prettyyy, prettyyyy sure I’m not going to watch it, at least not until I decide to pony up for HBO one of these days.

Wondering what I’ll actually see? That’s much harder to predict. I know I’ll try to watch some Oscar-bait movies come fall and winter, but I don’t know what those are yet. Here are some other movies and TV shows I’m much more likely to watch:

“Barry,” Season 3

Bill Hader was one of my favorite “Saturday Night Live” cast members, and “Barry” is one of my favorite TV shows right now. It’s the perfect mix of comedy, action and darkness that keeps me hungry for more. I will reactivate my family’s HBO account for the first time since “Game of Thrones” ended to watch this.

“Bojack Horseman,” Season 6 Part 2

While we’re on the subject of dark comedy TV shows, I feel so bittersweet about this. On the one hand, Bojack Horseman might be the best show on TV, and no other show can give me a deep existential crisis after every episode quite like this show about an anthropomorphic horse. On the other, it’s the last season. Here’s to seeing if Bojack will somehow be able to atone for his sins and come to peace with himself.

“Tenet”

Yes, I greatly enjoy Christopher Nolan’s movies (yes, “The Dark Knight” is my favorite movie of all time.) Yes, I realize that Nolan movies are masterpieces if you don’t think about them very hard, and sorta ridiculous if you do. But I liked John David Washington in “BlacKkKlansman,” and though the trailer makes no sense, I know I’ll be feasting on Nolan’s insane set pieces come July.

“Coming 2 America”

There’s a chance this sequel to 1988’s classic “Coming to America” might stink, but I believe in the Eddie Murphy comeback tour. He may not have the same dynamite energy that carried the first film, but I loved Murphy’s “Dolemite Is My Name” and recent appearance on SNL, so I’m definitely curious if he can pull this off.

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